Saha made mention of Colorgenics, so I thought I’d give it a go…
The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.For some time now you may have been subjected to considerable physical illness and or emotional distress. This may have taken a severe toll and you feel both physically and mentally worn out. Your self esteem has been reduced and you now need a peaceful environment which will permit you to effect full recovery.
You are not an argumentative sort of person and ‘rather than fight – you’d switch’ (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself – as sometimes you may try to do – you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you ‘feel’ and ‘hurt’ a lot.
You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face – pretending that you don’t care.
Be it through unfulfilled emotional requirements, whatever the circumstances you are experiencing considerable stress, be it mental or physical. To your credit you are attempting to escape from this by endeavouring to create a semblance of peace and serenity by refusing to allow yourself to be involved. You have the strength to ‘pull through’ and all indications are that you will… perhaps sooner than you even believed possible.
