The local Wal-Mart is a shining example of why I hate to shop at Wal-Marts, and why I hardly ever shop there. I did have to go there last week, but that was because we needed painting supplies and it was either there or Target, and Target does not have much in the way of hardware and home improvement. So, to Wal-Mart we went, albeit reluctantly.
After dodging entire families who shop wearing nothing more than pajamas, slippers and Nextel phones, and going around two hideous little Honda accords that were loaded down with dollar store rims and rubbermaid spoilers, we get parked. I put our loose change out of view, lock and arm and then double check and triple check the locks, and we head in.
Cursed with a small bladder, the first thing I had to do was use the bathroom (despite the fact that I had just gone right before we left the house). I hear the shrieking and squalling of ill-behaved children when I’m about fifteen feet away from the door. I mentally brace myself and head in, trying to touch as little of the door as possible. Into the stall, gingerly avoiding the strewn toilet paper and sanitary wrappers on the floor. Use one hand to keep pants from touching the floor, then hover as high up as I possibly can and do my thing. All the while, screaming from the kids in the other stalls. Suddenly, someone enters the bathroom and starts screaming at the kids.
“Shaqwanda! Lashoya! Quit that screaming! There is people in here wit you!”
I cringe at the names and the butchering of the English language. And then hold back my laughter at the hypocrisy of it all. Screaming at your kids for screaming… hi pot, this is kettle.
Then we make our way back to the hardware area.
As Dan is drooling over the power toys and babbling about what we’ll need, I notice another cluster of people in the aisle with us. There’s an older…woman, I think. Mom jeans, ripped wife beater, Harley jacket. Face that makes her look like she’s been around the block a few hundred times and thrown back wet. A much younger girl, looking very pregnant. And a chubby, grubby, very unkempt looking child of about four or so whose gender I can’t distinguish. I can’t help but overhear part of their conversation. The pregnant girl is whining to the older woman about wanting her to stay around to purchase spray paint. “Mommmmmmm”, she whined, “you know I can’t get it cuz I’m not old enough. I need you to.” As she and her mother are discussing spray paint and how stupid it is of Wal-Mart to ask for photo ID in order to purchase spray paint, the unkempt kid starts wandering off. Very Pregnant sees this and starts waddling towards her. “Summer Star! Git yo ass back here now. Don’t you walk away from me!” Summer Star sulks and comes back. “But Mommy…” (clearly addressing Very Pregnant) “I’m bored!”
Dan and I do a double take. Very Pregnant isn’t even old enough to purchase spray paint and she has one kid that is definitely over the age of three and is pregnant with another. We’re disgusted, to say the least. It’s about this time that I would be tempted to step in and offer to buy the spray paint for her, and some birth control, too.
I swear, you can’t make this kind of stuff up.
OMG that sounds like the walmart by my house. It’s crazy. There is another walmart about 5 or 6 miles away thats much nicer. I always go there, because I get better service.
I hear you. Even where I live, population 5,000, the Wal-Mart is absolutely disgusting.
Wow, our Walmart sounds like heaven compared to yours.
wow, I know how that one is..I had a friend who was barely 15 and had two kids and another on the way..and your walmart sounds almost like mine..oh how I hate living in the country..it’s like half the people under 20 are pregnant and then wonder why the economy is trash.
Walmart is definitely white trash mecca.
On a similar note..overhead at Toys R Us, from a very pregnant girl (maybe 15 – that’s generous) to her friend:
“I don’t care who the father is, as long as the baby is cute”
deja vu.
I laughed very hard at this. It really does make me think of statements “only in america” (no offence :)) and makes me very glad that Walmart is non-existant in my neck of the woods.
Good lord, though. I’m assuming the legal age to buy spray paint is 18, so I can only imagine how ridiculously young she would have been when she first had the ugly child. :p
I suppose the answer to avoiding walmart next time is to go to a hardware store for paint?
There is about 8 Wal-Marts where I live at. 2 of them are actually nice walmarts… but they are BRAND new. They built them in the ghetto though to take the ghetto people out of 2 of the other Wal-Marts. So, sooner or later, instead of having 6 shitty walmarts and 2 nice ones, we’ll just have 8 shitty ones.
Oh God, this is so funny! *haha You sure enough had me laughing pretty hard. I know what you are saying though, those days at Wal-mart can get pretty scary. ;)
I thought about this post, didn’t really say what I wanted. I’ve seen parents soft spokenly discipline their children and they completely ignore their parents. They whine and scream, and fall out on the floor. Sometimes a scream can do some good, as far as what’s said should be in proper english. I couldn’t live with the name Shaqwanda…
Surprisingly my last visits to walmart (near my mother’s) weren’t annoying. They fixed it up a bit. It wasn’t ridiculously crowed with… well how can I put this without blatantly hinting around…families of 10, 8 of which are running through the store and racks, being completely ignored by their parents, not speaking a bit of butchered english. I don’t have any problems at the local walmart, it’s a wonderful thing that it’s 24hrs.
This sounded kind of racist of conceited (kind-of, “I hate wal-mart because stupid, low-class black people are there to ruin America.”-tone) I know it might be uncomfortable for you to be in such a strange environment, but I don’t think it constitutes such a bitter and turgid blog post. I’m sure you’re a nice person when you’re with your community, just be that tolerant in places you don’t experience often.