As the subject states, I’m worried about Ryan. I’m worried that there might be something “wrong” with him. Around thirteen months of age he began head rocking. Not head banging, as in banging his head against the floor or wall in a tantrum, but general head/upper body rocking. At this point he does it all of the time. His favorite past time is to sit on the sofa and rock, repetitively, rather hard, against the back of the sofa. Over and over and over. For a good half hour or more, if we let him (obviously we try not to). He rocks in the high chair, before getting his food, while eating his food (I’m scared to death that his rocking is going to cause him to choke, so I am forever cutting his food up in itty bitty pieces), and as soon as he is done.
When we’re in the car, he starts rocking the moment the car stops, or if we’re sitting in the car for a few minutes before leaving. If he is in the stroller, the moment we’re not walking around, he starts rocking.
Bedtime is really bad. We go through the same thing every night. I put him to bed, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight, leave the bedroom. Within a minute he is sitting up, rocking against the wall. Sometimes he rocks so hard that the photos hung in the hallway fall. A few times he rocks so hard that we can feel the floor vibrating in our bedroom. I’ll check on him, gently scold him, tuck him back in, sing to him, or hold him. Leave, and he’s back to doing it again. After the third or fourth time he gets the idea that we don’t want him rocking against the wall, so he’ll get out of bed and go sit in the corner of his room, behind the closed bedroom door, and rock against the wall or the door itself.
Most nights he falls asleep while rocking. I’ll check on him after a few minutes of stillness and find him slumped over in the bed or on the floor. Other times I’ll find him half asleep, rocking gently, but still doing it.
He rocks if he is in a good mood, he rocks if he is sleepy, he rocks if he is throwing a tantrum. Dan and I try to interact with him as much as possible – without overdoing it and overstimulating him. We offer him toys, talk to him, sing to him, try to get him to clap and imitate other hand gestures, etc. Once in a great while it works. The rest of the time he tunes us out and keeps rocking.
I’ve tried not to worry about it. I have done a good amount of research on this topic and know that babies and toddlers sometimes rock for self-stimulation, or as a way of comforting themselves. But Ryan’s rocking is excessive. He has been doing it now for almost four months, and has gotten progressively excessive with it. And there’s no way he is bored or in need of comfort all of his waking moments. And there are other things, too… the way he tunes us out a lot of the time He walks around aimlessly, and is pretty much in his own little world. It can take a lot to get his attention. He is clumsy. He started walking around thirteen-fourteen months. He is forever “glancing” off of things – the kitchen table, the chairs, the fridge handle, the stove, etc. These are pieces of furniture and appliances that are always in the same spot, yet he manages to walk right into them, time and time again. He is obsessed with tubes of toothpaste, butt cream, spatulas and ladles. He’ll happily carry them around all day. He doesn’t really play with them, just tosses them around, gnaws on them a bit, and holds them.
He isn’t interested in most of the toys we have. We try to keep the living room free of clutter, and we keep the toys in the kids’ bedrooms, organized in bins. We’ll pull out a few toys at a time, so there is always a new variety, without being too many and thus being overwhelming. He could care less about any of them… with the exception of a few minor details on some of them. We have a set of wooden frogs made to look like cars, for instance. He loves spinning the wheels on one of the cars. Alyssa has a Little People play house, and the nursery has an actual spinning mobile. I’ll catch Ryan in Alyssa’s bedroom, sitting there with the play house, spinning the mobile around and around, around and around… no interest in playing with any other aspects of the house, such as the various objects and furniture that make noise, or the people that came with the house. His big thing is pushing the mobile around and around and around and around.
To my knowledge, autism does not run in my family. My father has an assortment of mental illnesses – OCD, anxiety, depression, bi-polar. My mother had a bit of depression when she was younger, but it has always been manageable. From Dan’s side of the family, dependency issues seem to be a big thing. His father died three years ago from complications arising from being an alcoholic. His mother is an alcoholic and a chain-smoker. His maternal grandmother smoked and drank until ten years ago, and died of cancer and complications from an operation almost a year ago. His maternal aunt died four years ago in a car wreck. She was drunk and leaving from the bar she went to daily when she crashed her motorcycle into the back of another vehicle. His maternal uncle successfully kicked a prescription drug habit, but to this day can’t take anything stronger than ibuprofen for fear of being addicted again.
My brothers are technically my half brothers. In addition to mood disorders, anxiety and ADHD, they both have autism. My twelve year old brother, Yusef, has the Asperger’s form of autism. My nine year old brother, Amr, is not too far above the stereotypical autistic child you conjure up in your mind. You know the one – sits in the corner, stares blankly, obsesses over pianos or abacuses, doesn’t always respond to attempts at communication. He is our little space cadet. He walks and talks and thinks and can hold a conversation and watch movies and play video games and play with toys, but he is off in his own little world. As a toddler he obsessed with rocking – in rocking chairs. To this day he can still rock for hours on end.
My brothers’ biological father exhibits a lot of the same symptoms they do, so it’s assumed that he passed on the disorders, including autism/Asperger’s, to them.
Ryan had his one year checkup (a little late, I know) in the beginning of December. I talked to the doctor about my concerns, and he himself noted how Ryan wandered around the exam room, not really playing with toys or doing anything, but just wandering around. He asked me to “sit tight” until Ryan’s next appointment – mid January – and if at that point I still had the same concerns, he would make a referral to [private] county’s Early Intervention agency. I plan on calling them myself after the holidays, both for Ryan and for Alyssa. We had a speech therapist working with us and Alyssa from November ’06 – January ’07, because at that point she was whining and babbling and pointing but not really saying anything. Now she is wonderful with her speech, but I want to do a follow-up with them to make sure that she is not just doing well for HER, considering where she was this time a year ago, but that she is on track for children in her age group.
Anyway. All of this is a lot for me to think about. Dan is in denial. He agrees that Ryan acts a little “slow”, but jokes that it’s because he’s 1) male and 2) Dan’s son. For Ryan’s sake I hope that he is just a little “slow” and that there is nothing wrong with him, but I worry that there is in fact something wrong. I really cannot wait until the first week of January, which is when I am going to be calling Early Intervention myself.
Thank you for reading this.
I hope that he’s just very fond of rocking.
Good luck with the appointment with Early Intervention.
I agree with Caitlin. I’ll keep him and all of you in my prayers. Hopefully everything will come out fine.
Hopefully it’s nothing serious like autism. Hopefully it’s something he’ll grow out of.
I really don’t know a lot about, or have any experience with autism. I do know that a lot of kids like to rock. Cassidy would sit in her little rocker and rock and suck her thumb for hours and hours sometimes.
She’s always been really good about playing by herself. Even today she’ll let her imagination run wild and play with dolls for hours on end. I hope that’s all it is. But if not, you have a very good support system in Dan and the internet and we’ll all be here to support you.
I have some experience working with children with Autism, and from my knowledge and minor research Autism is not genetic. It is environmental, or prenatal, and “nobody” really knows how it is caused. The boy I worked with last year loved songs & singing, but was non communitive (no signs, no words, no emotions, no nothing), he also loved cars and rolling the wheels – he would just lye down on the ground and roll a car back and forth in front of his face for hours if you let him. (thinking about him makes me really miss working with him and his family) … anyways having a child with Autism is not the end of the world or any other “label” It is manageable, especially with early intervention.
I am here for you, if you have any questions or concerns. I am a great listener plus I have a whole whack of books that are worth reading to become more informed/educated about Autism … I am also planning on going back to school to become a “Special Needs Educator for Early Childhood Education” …
I really encourage you to phone the early intervention place now, rather than later. Their might be a wait to be seen and assessed. Phone now, and make an appointment for the first week of the new year. Like i mentioned above, early intervention is key.
Aidan,
I wanted to let you know that I did go ahead and call. I called for the initial referral on the 21st, and the support coordinator called back on Thursday afternoon to do an initial phone evaluation. We went over the basics – my pregnancy and birth, Ryan’s routine, behaviors and interaction with us and Alyssa, and of course, our concerns. Anyway, a therapist is coming out to do the in-house evaluation on the 16th of January.
Thank you so much for your comments, and I do appreciate your advice. I may hit you up for more information if I need it… which I have a feeling I will!