Well, fuck a duck. Some bastard by the name of Fate came along and ripped the rug out from beneath us today. As always, the matter at hand pertains to finances. Unless you’re a kid of living in la-la land, matters of a serious nature ALWAYS relate to money. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll get things ironed out within the next few weeks, but meanwhile we’re up shit creek without a paddle, and for that matter without the goddamn boat. (Dear Santa: feel free to take back all of my presents and dump several hundred dollars in my stocking. Thanks!)
Anyway (random – I hate the sound of the “word” anywho). We are so ready for Christmas. I bought one last gift for Dan and Ryan last night, Dan brought home some presents from friends at work, and a box of packages arrived today from Dan’s paternal grandparents. Next year we’ll have to look for an even fatter tree to stuff all of the presents under. ;) I’d take yet another picture of it in all its present-bearing glory, but I’m at my mom’s right now. Long story short: she hates organizing, her kitchen especially, and I was looking for a few kid-free hours to relax and unwind before the craziness that is Christmas Day is upon me. So I’m here, chugging through the cluttered mess that is her living room and kitchen, and she’s at my house, most likely tearing her hair out with the care of four kids (hopefully this one evening will give her a taste of what I went through for seven weeks).
Tomorrow is the 23rd. My grandmother died three years ago on the 23rd of December. I hadn’t really thought about it too much, until my twelve year old brother brought it up last night, when we pulled into the parking lot of a store. “Sissy*, do you know what the day after tomorrow is?” Me: “Um, Sunday? Oh…” I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I burst into tears right then and there. I got myself together quickly enough, as I didn’t want to upset Alyssa and Ryan, who were with us while we were out doing some last minute Christmas and grocery shopping. I miss my grandmother so much.
Growing up, my grandmother was in my life on a daily basis. It was my mom and my grandparents, especially after my mom left my dad when I was six. Even when my mom remarried, and my brothers were born, my grandparents were always in our lives, ALWAYS. They even moved out of Philadelphia to where we lived, six years after we moved. In between the time we moved and they did, they made the hour and a half drive to visit us for several days at a time, every single month. In between there were almost daily phone calls and letters.
Life hasn’t been the same since my grandmother died. Christmas that year was a joke. Her viewing and funeral was on the 24th, and on the 25th my mom and brothers dragged themselves over for present exchanging and a lunch of waffles. Dan and I went to my mom’s that night, after we made the rounds to his side of the family, for dinner, but we were all just very quiet, very subdued… very withdrawn. It was awful. 2005 was a little better, but not much. Last year my mom didn’t bother to decorate until the 22nd. It’s close to the 23rd now, and she hasn’t even bought a Christmas tree. I don’t know if she will…
My grandfather has never been the same. One huge, shining example of this is a minor incident he had with his car in September of 2006. While pulling into his driveway, he accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake, and drove the car straight into the wall of the house. The damage to the home was nothing, aside from a utility cabinet that was in front of the house being pushed aside, but the corner of his precious PT Cruiser was crumpled in, and the headlight angled upwards. Back in the day, if you so much as BREATHED on his car wrong, there would be hell to pay. What he did that day with the car? We found out when he came over and mentioned having a little “accident” in passing. I went over to the house and nearly fell over in disbelief when I saw the damage, and took pictures to show my mom. She and I urged him to report it to the insurance company, or at least pay for the repairs himself, but he never did…
Anyway. Dan and I are supposed to go and visit his aunt and uncle tomorrow, but I want to try and squeeze in a visit to my grandfather at some point. We’ll be seeing him for Christmas, but I don’t want him to be without family tomorrow.
* I am Sissy to both of my brothers. They know my real name, but prefer the nickname. Sigh.
I am ready for Christmas as well! The next 3 days will be filled the 3 F’s…Food, Family, & Fights!
I always think about my grandfather around the holidays…though he passed away in April (’06). You couldn’t get him to come to family dinners, so we always took a plate of food and presents to him on Christmas day….Where would we be without memories??
Hope you and your whole family has a very wonderful Christmas!
I’m sorry about your grandmother, I know how hard it is to lose someone close you in the middle of what is supposed to be happy, family time, because one of my grandmothers died on my birthday.
I hope your grandfather will be all right tomorrow, it’s nice that you’re going to go and spend time with him so he won’t be alone.
Christmas without the loved ones you are used to have and see are always tough. I lost my grandmother over 10 years ago but I still miss her and Christmas seems to be extra tough since I know how she loved it and it hasn’t been the same without her, it never will. I hope you’ll get a chance to visit your grandfather though. Happy Christmas to you and your family!
I cannot even imagine what it’s like loosing a loved one so near Christmas. My friend’s gran had a stroke three days ago and it’s very touch-and-go at the moment..his family’s life is on hold at the moment and unfortunately won’t have a very good Christmas due to the circumstances. I’m just so glad that my family are all healthy – that’s the best Christmas present anyone could wish for.
Losing someone is hard but around the holidays it can be a lot rougher since the whole season is circled around family and such. *hugs* My dad is the same way, he lost his dad on Christmas Eve the year I was born so he absolutely refuses to ever get into the spirit and last year spent Christmas day drunk puking in my grandmother’s driveway. *sigh* I hope your financial situation picks up a bit, :-\