Every morning I’m woken the same way: Ryan slides out of bed the moment he wakes up (I’ve listened outside his bedroom door several times to see if he plays with his toys; he doesn’t), sits down against the wall behind the closed bedroom door, and commences with slamming his head against the wall. He is putting holes in our wall, and tearing strips away from the holes/indentations. His head is still sporting the large bald spot in the back. In fact, I think it has gotten bigger. Some of his onesies have holes in them from the callous on his back (formed from where he bends forward and then back when head banging) rubbing against them during the head banging.
He does the same thing when we put him down for a nap.
Oh, and when he gets up from a nap.
And when he goes to bed at night.
And if we’re in the car and idling/stopped for more than ten or fifteen seconds.
Or if we’re in the store and I’m not constantly on the go with the shopping cart.
And in the high chair or booster seat, the very moment he’s done eating (which is usually before I’ve had a chance to eat, since I set up Alyssa and Ryan with their meals first, and while I’m getting mine together Ryan is shoving his down his throat as fast as possible).
And sometimes while he’s in our arms.
And always on the couch if left alone for a few moments, or if he’s bored, or frustrated. Or conscious.
He is fleeting with eye contact. Unresponsive to stimulation that isn’t firm to the point of making my hands ache after massaging him or rubbing his arms and legs for a few minutes. He isn’t talking or really making gestures — though he will respond to “let’s go bye-bye’s”, “diaper”, “cup” and “let’s eat”. And no/get out of there/give that to Mommy — when he wants to. We don’t even get baby babble from him. We get “bah” and sometimes “mamamamamama” and “dadadadada”. He also squeals, shrieks, grunts and hoos.
Dan is refusing to believe that Ryan could quite possibly be autistic, despite him showing a lot the symptoms, and having a lot of the same behaviors and such that my now ten year old brother, who is Autistic, has shown and done since he was two. And despite both therapists strongly suggesting that he is, at the very least, showing “a lot” (direct quote) of reg flags for autism.
Dan is refusing to believe this because he thinks autism = hopeless case. And in his little delusional mind, if he doesn’t believe in it or avoids it, it magically disappears. Right.
We have therapists coming twice a week, for an hour and a half at a time. When the therapists aren’t here, we’re constantly working with him – trying to provide him other means of stimulation, including weighted vests (4 lbs.), weighted blankets (I’d say 6 lbs. or so), deep pressure and massages and a vibrating toothbrush (crazy, but it works!). We try to focus him on tasks, and keep him tunnel visioned on them. We are very repetitive with one and two word descriptions/requests/directions/tasks.
There are days where I’m so incredibly exhausted from working with him all day, without a single moment’s respite from his behaviors. Where did my sweet, perfect little infant go?
Actually, I take that back. Ryan is still sweet, cuddly and loving – and bubbly and happy! He’s just difficult on top of all of that, lol.
Early intervention can do so much for autism. I hope you guys are able to help him reach his full potential.