We’re supposed to go and visit my thirteen year old brother today. Last night I told my mom to call me later on (I was leaving her house and had a few errands to run before I went home); she said she would call me this morning.
Look how successful I’ve been at getting a hold of her…
I’m getting to the point where if it wasn’t for my brothers, I would honestly wash my hands of her.
Last night I started a post that began with the following sentence:
As predicted, my mother and I got into it yet again during our jaunt to Harrisburg.
Because, as predicted, we DID get into it during our jaunt to Harrisburg on Thursday. Over the dog she’s insisting on getting, and money. It got ugly when she insulted Daniel. Yes, insulted. She can’t handle deserved and well-founded criticism on her choice of buying a dog during such a time like this, and instead of trying to refute our concerns and criticisms and starts insulting MY HUSBAND. I flipped out on her and told her straight out to shut the fuck up or she could walk her ass home from Harrisburg. It takes a lot of gall to to insult the person who is indirectly helping your ass out (because even though it’s “my” money that I’ve used to help my mom, it’s “his” money that is in turn compensating for the loss of it. I’m doing the whole quotes thing because we don’t do the my vs. his thing. We follow the mantra of what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours, and everything is ours.).
So anyway. I’m sorry to keep rattling on about my mother, but I am very, very frustrated over this entire situation. I am just so DONE. I cannot wait until this whole mess with Children & Youth is resolved and I can just walk away.
But in the meantime, I have to deal with the stress and upset and frustration, because I can’t walk away until my brothers are out of the hands of C&Y. My thirteen year old brother is at the residential school my mother initially planned for him to be at, but my ten year old brother is still at an emergency shelter, and both boys are in temporary state custody. Once they’re back in her custody, and everything is okay, I am so gone.
What the hell should I do right now? My brother is expecting us by 4. It takes an hour to get there, and I need to stop at Target and pick up a few things he requested, and swing by Taco Bell for the volcano taco he is dying to have. So I need at least an hour and a half… and it’s already after 1. I’m so tempted to just take Alyssa and Ryan and go myself, but I know there’d REALLY be hell to pay from my mom… even though she’s the dumb fuck who is causing all of the trouble and delaying things because she won’t answer her motherfucking phone!!!
Yikes. Your mother really needs to get her act together. I really hope you keep to your word and be done with her when the whole situation with your brothers is resolved.
Your brother will be happy to see you. I wish you luck.
Aidan´s last blog entry: Why me?
If she’s causing you this much trouble, she really has no right to get upset and I hope you can stick to cutting your ties with her when she has the custody of her boys back, because based on your Twitter and blog entries, she’s not good for you or your marriage.
Good luck.
Jonna´s last blog entry: Instance virgin gets poked a bit again
I hate to say this but it’s bad that your Mother still hasn’t changed her ways it seems during this whole situation. You would think that she’d wise up and be on time to see her own children. How is it going to look to CYS?
Hopefully your brother likes the volcano taco. I know that Jeremy and I tried one and didn’t see much of a different between adding fire sauce to a regular taco. Then again the shell is red and that just makes it so much more cool right?
Dez´s last blog entry: Emotions
Ugh, I can’t believe she’s biting at the hand that feeds her, so to speak.
But I hope your brother liked the things that you picked up for him. At least you’re looking out for them rather than thinking about what kind of dog to get next…
Michelle´s last blog entry: Give me something to do + Friday Five
Wow, I’m a bit upset by how your mother is acting. I can’t believe that she is still pulling this crap instead of working hard for her kids’ sakes. I feel so bad that you have to go through all of this. I wish there were an easier way to help your brothers while at the same time to not have to try and deal with how your mother is acting.
I hope that once things are resolved with your brothers, you really stick to not taking her bullshit anymore. I hate to see it upsetting you, and Dan, so much.
Caitlin´s last blog entry: I’m telling the internet!
Your mom makes me shake my head in disturbance. This is her SON she is supposed to be going to see and she can’t even answer the phone. God…
Amanda´s last blog entry: I’ve got a busy weekend next weekend oh boy
I’m surprised at how your mother is so concerned about getting a DOG at this time, when her money and time should be solely devoted to her CHILDREN who need her help. I’m also somewhat disgusted by the fact that she knows she needs to visit her children today but will not answer her phone, that’s fucking ridiculous.
Hi Jenn, I hope you made it to see your brother by 4pm!! You’re doing the right thing sticking by your mom, even when she is acting the way she is.
And I’ve never tried a volcano taco before, are they good?
Jessica´s last blog entry: Lawn Signs
Humm volcano tacos don’t look that good to me. I’d just rather add some hot sauce, it’s the whole different colored shell thing I guess?
Your mom. Wow.
I hate to say this, but I’m going by past instances. Your brothers were in your care due to something your mother did right? I can’t remember what prompted that, but I’m assuming it’s something that happened that had you take kinship of them for X amount of time.
They are temp. wards of the state now. It’s looking like this might be a problem until they age out. Especially if she is on the radar of the CYS people and they jump at every little thing the boys do no matter how small.
I wish you could be done with the situation when the boys get situated, but sadly I think that if you washed your hands of it all and didn’t help out tremendously she’d spiral out of control and they’d just end up in a worse situation. She doesn’t seem capable of managing money or other things at this point.
I really wish she’d get some type of help, but I think the only thing that’s going to help her is you cutting her off. Tough love.
Wow, your mom’s behavior is just ridiculous. Reminds me of my own mom and how most of the time I feel like I’M the parent, not vice versa. I’m sure you feel that way a lot.
And I hate to say it, but with the dog situation: It seems like your mom just needs to have whatever you have. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and when you get something major, you post of your mom getting the same thing. Cameras, body jewelry, cats and now this dog thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that.. IF you have the money to pay for it and still take care of things that need to be taken care of. In this case, from what you’ve said, she doesn’t. There’s no reason she HAS to have a dog. She should be trying to get her kids and forget the dog.
Then to insult Dan when you guys have clearly done SO MUCH for her? Seriously? That’s fucked up.
Hope things get better for you soon, Jenn.
Julia´s last blog entry: Hidden Trails
Ugh, sounds like you’re in a tough situation. It’s tough when it involves family, but hopefully the loose ends will tie up soon so you can just cut yourself loose.
Wow. Does she read here? She should. :hmm:
I hope you got ahold of her. *sigh*
Sara´s last blog entry: Learning
I am starting to think your brothers are better off in state custody than with your mother.
Your mother is not helping the cause of getting her children back.
I don’t think she deserves children at all. Look at what she did to you.
I just hope all you guys can see how much this situation upsets me and that I’m not just overreacting on a lot of this stuff.
Oh Jenn… I need to go backwards in your blog and read to catch up because I haven’t stopped here in a while and didn’t know about the situation with your brothers. I’m so sorry about what you’re going through. I have been a reader of your blog for years and years (I vividly remember kmk) and I’ve seen how much you’ve grown and matured in terms of dealing with your mom. It seems your relationship with her is so toxic to you, Jenn… I’m able to relate to you in that respect because me and my mom were the same way. Sometimes you just have to walk away.. sometimes it is necessary to weed out people in our worlds so that the rest of our lives can get healthy and we can further grow as people. But it is painful.. and not an easy decision.
I’ll be keeping you, Daniel, and your brothers in my thoughts…
Ugh. It’s really bad that you have to be the adult in your relationship with your mom. I know that you’re an adult, but you shouldn’t have to take responsibility for her and for her actions. She’s a grown up and should be able to be more responsible, especially if she wants to show that she’s a good enough parent to have her children back in her own custody. Social workers do not look favorably on even the slightest sign of instability, and she is not showing a very stable front for them to latch onto.