It still hurts

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Today is the four year anniversary of my grandmother’s death. This is probably the first Christmas since her death that I haven’t had equal amounts of happiness and sadness. I miss my grandmother so much. I don’t think her being gone will ever stop hurting. But I’m trying not to dwell too much, because I know she would want me to be happy, especially for Alyssa and Ryan.

So, thinking happy thoughts. A neighbor just dropped off a platter of homemade cookies and doughnuts. They’re quite delicious. I’m working on a kick-ass theme for Lavish, which I plan on throwing up as a Christmas present for everyone late tonight or early tomorrow afternoon.

Dan will be done work tonight by 7pm, and as soon as he gets home we’re going to take Alyssa and Ryan out to the mall to see Santa. I don’t know this little holiday to-do slipped my mind, but it did, so god help us as we brave the mall tonight. We’re going to tag-team the kids to make the wait in line easier. I’ll hold our place in line and entertain Alyssa, and Dan will walk with Ryan around the mall. I’ll call him as soon as we’re near the front of the line, so hopefully Ryan will be in a good mood and will cooperate for the few seconds it’ll take to plop him and his sister on Santa’s lap and get the photo taken.

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