I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Even though we went to bed kind of late, I popped up at 7am, 8am, and then again at 9am. Dan refused to get up at 9am (“the presents will be there; I want to go back to sleep!”), but had no choice once 10am rolled around and Ryan was up, too. ;) Ryan’s Christmas present to us was figuring out how to turn doorknobs — he came into our bedroom right around 10am and said, “Hi Daddy”.
Alyssa was definitely excited about Christmas morning (I “cheated” and didn’t tell her it was Christmas until I went in her bedroom; I knew if I told her about Christmas the night before she never would have fallen asleep), but she took her time opening presents. She would select one out of the pile, look it over, then slowly remove the wrapping paper from it. Ryan, on the other hand, got excited over finding a package of pacifiers waiting for him under the tree (he was equally excited over the Spongebob toothbrush and toothpaste set in his stocking), and eagerly tore into every present that was handed to him. Impatient child that he is, he started biting and gnawing at wrapper packages to get into them quicker.
Once Alyssa and Ryan opened over half of their presents (stupid me thought they were lacking in presents, and went out on Christmas Even and used the $500 K-Mart gift card to get them several more each. They wound up with 10-11 presents each, and two joint gifts!), Dan and I exchanged presents with each other. For him? A leather jacket, a cream colored scarf and Guitar Hero pajamas. For me? A Garmin nuvi 200W and Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels Heavenly perfume and lotion set.
Beneath the cut (multiple cuts in one blog entry, thanks to the Hide/Cut Post Text plugin!) are some of my favorite photos from Christmas morning:
Once every last present had been opened, Dan headed to the kitchen to start on part of Christmas dinner (pot roast, potatoes and vegetables in the crock pot) while I handled the task of separating toys from wrapping paper, removing any tags/ties/tape (there wasn’t much to remove, since Dan and I planned ahead by removing tags/ties/tape from toys before wrapping them!), and gathering all of the trash in a trash bag. Ryan carried some of the toys to the bedroom while Alyssa helped me gather up wrapping paper.
Of course, Christmas couldn’t be without drama. I thought there might be some tension, but I never imagined things would explode the way they did. Anyway, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. First, I took a shower after cleaning up the living room and baking a few more batches of cookies. Once I was showered and dressed, I headed over to pick up my mom. The plan was to get her, and then go and get my grandfather.
I no sooner pulled away from my mom’s house with her when she started lighting into me over my refusal to get her an external flash for Christmas. I chose not to get her the flash because she barely uses her Nikon. I have had my Nikon for a little over a year now, and not one day goes by that I don’t take at least a few photos with it. In fact, I just rolled over my 9,999th photo for the fourth time. In contrast, it has been so long since she last used her camera (sometime in October, and before then around June) that the battery died completely. So when Dan and I were deciding what to get her for Christmas, we logically chose not to purchase an expensive camera accessory that she would barely use. Instead, I spent over $100 on a new phone system, and dropped a decent chunk of money at Victoria’s Secret for her.
So, she’s bitching at me. She knew that I didn’t get her a flash, and assumed that I didn’t get one for her because I think I’m so much better than her, because I use my camera more than hers I’m a better photographer than she is, she doesn’t deserve it, how dare I upset her and treat her like that, blah blah blah. These are all her words, by the way. I’m sitting there fuming over this, but I don’t say much, except that she is assuming my reasons for choosing something else for Christmas.
We get to my grandfather’s. He’s sleepy, grumpy, mumbling and bitching, and generally not in a good mood. Against our better judgment, because it’s Christmas after all, my mom and I decide to bring him over to my house for Christmas dinner anyway, even though it takes us a half an hour to get him out of bed, dressed and ready to go, and finally in the car. He grumbles and carries on most of the way back to my place.
About an hour after we get there, my grandfather decided that he finally wants to come inside. Until this point he had been sitting in my car, wanting to “rest” before coming in. So he does, though we wind up using the back steps to get inside, because the front steps don’t have a railing. This is after he insists on using the front steps, and then bitches at me because he’s not steady enough to walk up them.
So, he’s in the house. As he is sitting at the kitchen table, having a cup of coffee, I decide that since Alyssa and Ryan are being relatively quiet, dinner isn’t ready, and Dan’s brothers, their girlfriends and Jason haven’t shown up yet, we might as well give my mom and grandfather their Christmas presents.
I admit, at this point I was feeling pretty stressed. I was still upset over how my mom acted in the car, how my grandfather was, and wondering how it would be getting him home on time later on (his legal guardians warned us that he had to be back at the assisted living home by 10pm, OR ELSE [we'd never be allowed to take him anywhere again]). So when I handed my mom her first Christmas present (the phone system), my voice shook and broke when I said to her, “Merry Christmas. I’m sorry that this isn’t what you really wanted”.
I wish I had kept my mouth shut when I handed her the present.
My mom started apologizing, and I started crying. As I was telling her how I took what she said to me earlier in the car, and she was trying to explain/backtrack on what she meant, Dan cut in and started yelling and bitching out my mom. I don’t even remember what all was said, except that he started bellowing at her, and I jumped in front of him (something I would never normally do because to be perfectly honest, his temper scares me when he gets to the breaking point) to try and diffuse the situation and shut him up. He told her to get out, I told him no, butt out of the situation and let me handle it, he told her to shut up and appreciate me more, stop spending so much on the dog and spend more on her kids, etc., etc., and then stormed off to the bedroom. My mom just sat there for a minute, while Alyssa started crying (she was standing right next to Dan when he started screaming), and then she started crying, I was still crying, and then she yelled towards Dan, “You’re a dick!”
Now, I understand she was upset. I was upset too, with both of them. Her, for starting the initial mess earlier in the day, and Dan, for getting involved in a situation that had absolutely nothing to do with him. She shouldn’t have said that, regardless of how she felt and how upset she was with him for upsetting her and Alyssa. But she said it, and then Dan came storming back out and really started screaming at her to get out. I managed to get him back in the bedroom and calm him down. He apologized to me for upsetting me, and admitted that he knew it just made everything so much worse for me, and that he got involved with the “conversation” to begin with because he was furious with my mother for making me cry, but was now just as upset with himself for making me cry. But that aside, it’s still a lose-lose situation for ME, because once again I’m in the middle of both of them, trying to diffuse the situation and walk around on eggshells keeping everyone happy.
Finally Dan came back out. He didn’t apologize to my mother, my mother didn’t apologize to him, but they did both act “normal” and talk to me and the kids. My mom apologized to me for her part in the situation, and said she felt bad because she knew how hard I worked to prepare for Christmas and get everyone nice things and work on food and plans. Dan’s youngest brother arrived a few minutes later. The three of us didn’t say anything to him in regards to what had taken place, but I’m sure he wondered, since my eyes were still puffy, red and wet, and my mascara was streaked down my face and I was dabbing at my eyes with a tissue. But we all said hi, and my mom and I got busy with serving dinner (ham, pot roast, mashed potatoes, vegetables, biscuits and rolls). Dan’s other brother and his fiance (they just got engaged last week!) arrived not too much longer after that, and everything was pretty much “okay” from that point onwards.
The rest of Christmas was good. Everyone showed up, more gifts were exchanged (gift certificates for babysitting, movies and dinner for Dan and I, yay! I’m telling you, babysitting is one of the best things to offer parents with little kids! ;) ), and once Alyssa and Ryan were in bed by 9ish the alcohol came out. Dan and his brother got pretty drunk, and we all had a very good rest of the night.
Alyssa was thrilled with Hello Kitty earmuffs (not shown: gloves!) from her uncles.
Ryan chewed open his gifts, but walked away once he saw they were clothes (a nice winter coat and matching pair of snow pants!).
A drunk Dan and his drunk brother lick spilled beer off the Twister mat.
A drunk Dan lets his drunk brother shave “HI” and a heart into his chest and stomach hair.
Dan and Jason at the end of the night.
My mom and I managed to get my grandfather home by 12:30am (we did call the guardians to let them know what was up and how nasty and uncooperative he was being, and that’s when we found out that he has been deliberately skipping his 3x a week dialysis treatments, and would most likely be starting hospice on the 26th; such a lovely thing to find out about ON Christmas, right after the four year anniversary of my grandmother’s death), and we stopped at Waffle House on the way home.
I got home a little after 2am, and found Dan cleaning up the living room and kitchen for me. All that was left for me to take care of (the next day, lol) were a few pots, pans and baking pans. We skipped the TV and the commercials for small business for sale, and instead went straight to bed!
So, that was Christmas. It was good, it was very bad, and then it was good again. But most importantly, it’s over with! I am exhausted from this past week, and I admit that I can’t wait to get the decorations out of here and get back to a normal routine!
At least it ended on a good note! I am sorry to hear about your Grandfather, I hope things work out! Alyssa and Ryan look so adorable! I chuckled when I saw that Ryan was eating his way through his presents ! lol
Thasanee´s last blog entry: Happy Holidays!
What’s Christmas without drama?! LOL
Glad it was mostly a great day for you all!
Hope you have a happy new year, jenn!
Tina´s last blog entry: Why would ya?!
it seems like there’s always some family dramas at christmas since it’s when everyone gets together, but i’m sorry to hear you had such a stressful time. but i’m surprised that your mum would get mad at you for not buying her what she ‘wanted’… what is she, a kid? christmas is meant to be about giving, not getting annoyed when people don’t buy you things.
L.´s last blog entry: merry christmas~
I know what you mean about Dan making it a lose lose situation for you, but I don’t think HE DID ANYTHING WRONG!!! Honestly, she’s your mother, but hasn’t he had enough of this woman by now? Look at it from a 4rd party perspective. I wouldn’t treat my dog like this, not to mention my daughter. He has to get sick of seeing the woman he loves being treated like that by the person who brought her into this world.
I’m just sorry Alyssa had to get upset and that you have to endure this all the time. There has to be some end to it. At least most of the day was awesome!
Wow, what a Christmas! :dead:
LMFAO @ Dan! That’s hilarious!
Britney´s last blog entry: juicebox07: Getting hungry. Nothing really good here to eat and I don’t feel like driving anywhere.
I have to agree with Ranee, while Dan could have handled things better infront of his daughter, he has every right to finally stand up to your mother. She treats you like crap and then he has to see you so upset. I don’t blame him for resenting her at all. He just needs to work on his when and where planning ;)
Jenny´s last blog entry: Merry Christmas!
That’s awful that it had to go that way on Christmas day, you shouldn’t have had to endure that. Ugh…. The kids look like they had a blast and I’m glad it was great for them.
Amanda´s last blog entry: Insurance, blargh
Well, our Christmas isn’t complete without someone in Joe’s family calling his sister-in-law a whore so it’s normal for Christmas to have a little drama.
Usually my holidays are filled with so much drama that I thought my family was abnormal at some point. Oddly, that didn’t happen this year. I’m sorry about the incident, but glad it ended well for you.
The photos are great by the way. The Twister one made me laugh. They party hard, huh? Lol.
Lisa Marie´s last blog entry: A trip to NYC
I’m sorry you had to deal with that crappy interlude during your Christmas Day! That really sucks!
I’m glad it turned out to be ok though, the pictures are awesome, especially the “HI <3″ shaved into Dan’s chest hair, lol! Drunken Dan is lucky Drunken Brother didn’t cut him with the razor! :O
I’m sorry that there was such a crappy bit to your Christmas and that Alyssa had to be there to witness it.
But… it did turn out okay and Alyssa looks awesome decked out in all her Hello Kitty-glory. Plus, Ryan looks like he had a blast chewing open the presents (I totally have photos of my cousins’ kids doing that when they were toddlers). 
Michelle´s last blog entry: Sick and tired
Ugh! You shouldn’t have had to deal with all that, especially the fighting between your mother and Dan. At least they could be civil to one another and make the night better, though! I’m also sorry to hear about your grandfather!
As for the “HI” in Dan’s chest? ROFTLMAO. I love being there to take drunk pictures, you should frame this one, for sure!
Andrea´s last blog entry: ouch.
I’m going to be the nasty one here and say…
Jenn. Seriously.
Cut. Your. Mother. OUT. OF. YOUR. LIFE.
Dan’s reaction to her bitching may have been generally a bit thoughtless (considering Alyssa was in the room) but it was normal, it was *human* and she got what was coming to her and she – even after she realized Alyssa was still in the room and *clearly upset* – provoked Dan further. This was not the first time a clash has happened and it most definitely will not be the last and trust me, it will just get worse. You seem to periodically consider removing your mother out of the equation (with valid reasons!) and believe me, this is not one of those situations where it’ll get worse before it gets better – it’ll just gradually get worse. Your mother shows absolutely no signs of maturing, nor does she seem to respect you, Dan or your marriage one tiny bit. Why should you give her the respect she doesn’t deserve? What gives her the right to behave like an immature twat (pardon my French) but removes your (or Dan’s) right to retaliate when her behavior becomes too much?
I know she’s your mother and I know you’re a loyal daughter, but just think about how many mixed signals Alyssa and Ryan have to grow up with. They *will* – if they haven’t already – pick up on the tension *as well as* the behavioral patterns you, your mother and Dan have. The time will come when they will pick sides in these fights and eventually, if nothing else tears your family apart, THAT will. Nothing good will come out of having your mother in your life. She will just destroy what you have in her jealousy and inability to deal with *anything*. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: she has some sort of major personality disorder going on and without professional help and the right medication, she’s not going to change. And just because she’s sick doesn’t mean you have to tolerate her behavior *one bit*.
I’m going to stop the bitching now, you’ve received enough of that for the holidays… a belated Merry Christmas to you and your family (excluding your mother). I love the photos, and I’m happy your Christmas did get better in the end.
Did Dan end up with a lovely “HI <3″ -shaped razor rash?
I agree with Ranee also. Dan was just defending you because he didn’t like to see someone make you cry. Your mother should appreciate you more.
I am glad that you had an otherwise nice Christmas though. I loved Christmas when I was a kid, but I love it even more now that I have kids of my own.
Nikki´s last blog entry: Christmas randomness
Well that was one eventful Christmas, but I’m glad it was good mostly and agreeing with you “it being over” part. I really love Christmas but sometimes it tends to be stressful. I hope you have a nice New Year’s Eve though. I love the photos you’ve taken, esp. Alyssa with her Hello Kitty earmuffs, those are adorable :D
Johanna´s last blog entry: Can you hear it?
Oh I’ve been waiting for this entry!! Sounds like you had an amazing Christmas! The photos are awesome, as always. I can’t believe that picture of Dan. That’s total blackmail material hahaha!
Caity´s last blog entry: Family feud.
I agree that even though Dan could of handled the situation better, he was still not in the wrong. From all that I have read, Dan along with yourself have put up with a lot from your mom.
Manda´s last blog entry: Christmas
Well.Fair play to Daniel! I’m sorry but your mom is a headcase.I think Alyssa acts more mature than she does,and shes only 4 ! Yes Dan blew up but to be honest he had every right to do that maybe not while Alyssa was present granted..but still
I’m sorry but she is one ungrateful bitch–I don’t hear of her busting her balls to make money do I?
Sorry Jenn I really am but you need to cut that woman loose from your life.
Other than that I’m pleased you managed to have a reasonably good time-you put a lot of effort into the day! You’re making wonderful memories for Alyssa & Ryan!
Tehya´s last blog entry: WTF?
LOL @ Dan’s chest hair.
Though to be perfectly honest, if my family gatherings ever went like that, I think I’d just not have them anymore. Family arguments are some of the worst ever. I also agree with everyone who said Dan was NOT in the wrong to defend you, and I think your mother was being extremely ungrateful – regardless of how she meant it – when she complained about you not getting her what she wanted for Christmas. That is something you might possibly expect from a petulant child (and even then it’d be rude), not a grown woman.
Wow. None of that should have went on in front of the children. Dan should have completely known better than to take things to that level in front of the kids. There is nothing in the world that
Leslie´s last blog entry: I was tagged!!
Made me more sad than being a child in the midst of adults fighting or arguing. I remember feeling so helpless, and so afraid…and confused. I hate hearing about another child having to witness something like that.
On the other hand..the pictures are great and the kids look really happy…they musta been good cuz it looks like Santa was good to them this year ~_^!
Leslie´s last blog entry: I was tagged!!
I’m happy that Dan stuck up for you (though he could have done it more tactfully). You’re mother does seam to be very inconsiderate when it comes to certain things.
On a happier note, it looks like the kids enjoyed Christmas. and by the way, Ryan looks adorable trying to bite open his presents.
Wow!! That was a crazy Christmas. I’m with you on the – glad it’s over part.
The kids looked like they had a great time though. The picture of Ryan biting the present open is priceless.
Meli´s last blog entry: New Years Resolutions I intend to keep….maybe
What settings do you use your camera on when you’re shooting in your living room, or something like that? The coloring on yours always looks very nice, and mine doesn’t. I have the same camera, still learning all about it, but can’t seem to get the nice coloring. Are you using your external flash for them, as well?
Thanks
Your photos are lovely.