When I was a kid and even a teenager my mother and grandmother would often tell me that life moved faster as you got older. This has never proved to be so true, especially in the last year or two. I’d say that since having Ryan life has just been flying by. Of course, in addition to another child I also gained working-from-home employment that has definitely evolved into a full-time job, family drama and issues, and the whole slew of issues and stresses that goes along with that additional child being autistic.
Do you guys remember counting down the days until Christmas? It all seemed to draaaaaaaaaaaag. Christmas didn’t drag this year. The first few days went by a little slowly, especially since I felt kind of silly about having our decorations up and the tree bought and on display before the Black Friday sales expired, but then I blinked and Christmas was just a week away. I blinked again and it was Christmas Eve, and I still had cookies to bake and Dan and I both had a small mountain of gifts to wrap.
Now Alyssa is in preschool, and we’re seeking out more outdoor and group activities for her and even for Ryan. There’s an Easter egg hunt this Saturday, and an Easter party at her school that I need to ask the teacher about (it’s mentioned on the calendar, but there’s no details anywhere that I can see).
Ryan will be in preschool soon, too. He turns three at the end of July, and at that point we’re going to hopefully enroll him in a local preschool that specializes in special needs children. I’m really going to have fun then, with two kids in two different preschools that will probably be at least five miles apart. Plus there are his therapists to fit into the schedule somewhere. We cut down to once every two weeks, so that Dan and I have more time to implement various ideas and techniques, but that’s still eight visits a month to squeeze in on top of each child going to preschool three days per week.
I’m trying to find time to take Leah to a Pug meet-up (yes, it’s just what it sounds like). Twice now Dan’s schedule was open for me to take Leah without having to drag the kidlets along, but then she was in heat, so that was definitely a no-go. There’s a meet-up this Saturday, which I could go to, but then I’d be rushed to get back in time for the 2pm Easter egg hunt. There’s one on the following Saturday (the 11th), but Dan might have to work that day. However, I’ve already made up my mind that even if he is working, I’m still going, even if I have to drag the kids along. The dog park is completely fenced in, and I’m sure that Alyssa and Ryan would be fine in a large open area with 20+ snorting, snuffling Pugs running about. I’ll bring plenty of toys. And snacks. And Tylenol (that would be for me). But dear god, I’d love to go on my own. Bring Leah, a few dog treats and my camera, and sit back and be amused by her running around and romping with a dozen other Pugs.
Life in general is pulling me in too many directions. It seems like I can be on top of the house/kids OR work OR my own stuff. But never all three. Hell, on some days I’m doing good if I can even get two accomplished. Then my mom and other things come in on top of all that, and I really get stressed and want to spazz out. And believe me, I do my best to trim out the unnecessary stuff, but it can be difficult, especially when there are people and situations that just don’t seem to GET that you’re busy, or hey, maybe I’d like to get a shower, or do my nails, or fuck my husband, or just freakin’ cuddle with him or do something besides exchange work/kid schedules and tag team the kids, or go shopping for some spring and summer clothes, or just sit down and watch some fucking television for a bit (the other day I deleted SIX WEEKS WORTH of TV shows that I haven’t had the chance to watch). Or maybe just sit around and stare at the wall, since I’m so constantly over stimulated, over talked to, over touched, over every-freaking-thing.
Gah. Someone tell me that it’ll get easier as the kids get older. Please? Lie to me if you have to! Tell me that this rat race that is my current life will slow down and let me catch a breath (and that I will no longer have to give up an hour or two of sleep in order to watch some TV or read a book)!
There is a dog park here that my mother takes her dogs to. There are two different sides. Small dogs/Big dogs. I like going to see the big dogs lol.
But have fun!
I’m about integration and not segregation. Why can’t Ryan go to Alyssa’s preschool, or even Alyssa go to the other one if there is such a good program for children who require extra support? Then it would be so much easier transportation wise not to mention a stress reducer for you knowing that your children are in good hands?
I really hope life starts to slow down a little for you, you deserve all the me time you can get.
I really don’t know when it will get better. But if it makes you FEEL better, I actually can’t wait to be in your shoes – to be married and have a couple of kids of my own. I think you’re lucky.
I do not know when life begins to slow down, but be sure to clue me in when you find out, alright? Yay for both kids going to school. That will be a nice little break for you, even if you will have to drive in two separate directions.
I also wondered the same thing recently — about life seeming to go much slower when you’re younger .. Its almost as if people’s concept of time subconsciously changes as they grow older.
I wish I could tell you that it’s going to calm down. I’m wondering if summer will be as hectic as this first school year has been. If Alyssa’s kindergarten is anything like ours it’s always going to be something. I have mounds of paperwork to fill out every night over stupid stuff, like I have time for that. I have to admit I kick ass between the hours of 11-midnight getting crap done that I put off because I’d love to jab my eyes out instead. There there are the 500 activities they can be involved in.
It’s silly, but I want more kids. Someone slap me. After reading your blog post it made me want more as well. I love being a mom, I think I’m having a breakdown, have completely lost myself, but I love being a mom! \
P.S. you’re really good at all of this even though it seems overwhelming!