When you have something within reach all of the time, it’s easy to take it for granted. Last night I was folding some laundry and hoping that Dan would be able to leave work and come home a little early, simply because I missed him (I was also starved for conversation* that didn’t include small children). But then I realized how silly that was, especially since there was a time when we wouldn’t see each other for months at a time. Our relationship started off as a long distance one. I met him in July of 2000, we went on our first date on August 16th, 2000, and he left for college a week after that. With the exception of holiday breaks, spring break and summer, and the few bus/train trips we made back and forth to see each other, we were 250 miles apart for our first two years together.
I’m not going to lie. It was hard. We kept in touch online, though we also talked on the phone a few times a week, and sent letters and cards to each other. But it was damn hard. Not being around him, not being able to see him. On a few of the trips to Pittsburgh to see him, I used to have these little miniature freak-outs where I felt like we were complete strangers to one another, and I almost wanted to turn around and go home. But I never did, and once we met up at the train or bus station the anxieties went away and it was just us.
So when I did move to Pittsburgh with him, in August of 2002, being able to sleep beside him night after night was such a NOVELTY. And I have to say, we were both so incredibly excited. Not only to be around each other, but to not have to dread the day when we would have to say goodbye and once again put over two hundred miles between us. So we slept and cuddled like crazy. And yes, we went kind of sex crazy too. That first week I’m pretty sure we were in bed or in the shower more than we were out of them! Sleep, eat, have sex pretty much summed up the first week together. But after that things settled down, as we got more used to just being with each other.
I can honestly say that we’ve never had any problems with living together. We’ve never had any problems with sharing space or our stuff. We still don’t. We’ve borrowed hair brushes and toothbrushes, barged into the bathroom when the other was in there, spontaneously hopped into the shower with the other, and so on and so forth.
And here we are, almost seven years after we first started living together, almost nine years into our relationship, and living together is the norm. It isn’t the novelty it once was. I cry over the milestones Alyssa and Ryan are hitting and typical girl stuff instead of crying over having to sleep alone and missing my boyfriend/fiance (wow, those words feel weird to write!). I cuddle up against my husband aka the space heater instead of a stuffed animal or spare pillow. And the only time I email or IM Dan is if I’m not at home or I don’t feel like using my phone.
Yay for us. Yay for how far we’ve come. Yay for how far we’ve yet to go. ♥
*Speaking of conversation, for those of you with small children, when do you stop referring yourself in the third person? Did you ever? I’m working on using more first person references, for example, “I need to stop by the post office before we go to the playground”, but I’m so used to saying, “Mommy needs to” or “Mommy wants”, etc., that I wind up doing it in regular conversations. What makes us parents do the third person speak, anyway?
I think third person talking set in when my son didn’t understand what I meant whenever I said things like “I need.. I want.. I am.. “. It was easier for him to grasp Mommy this and Mommy that.
I’ll admit, even though my kids are almost 5 and 8, I still occasionally spit out a Mommy this.. usually when talking to my 4 year old. For the most part, I’ve stopped though. The kids get it now, lol.
I love you so much my darling angel
It’s amazing how far we’ve come, and I’m looking forward to where we still have to go. Always and forever, my love.
You guys were and are so cute!
My husband and I lived together nearly right away, then were separated by 2600 miles a year and a half into our relationship due to some crazy stuff. We spent four months apart with only one short visit in the middle before I moved to join him. We didn’t know if it would all work out. I can relate to your anxiety when making the trips. I was scared to death I’d feel nothing for Chris when I stepped off the plane. We’ll have been together ten years in August and I really feel that having been apart cemented our relationship. We are 100% we want to be with each other, rather than we want a relationship with someone and the other person is handy. We know what being apart feels like – not good – so working out our issues is the only option.
By the way, if you think calling yourself Mommy in third person is weird, try calling your best friend Mommy. I spend large amounts of time with my friend and her four year old. It was weird at first to be like “Let’s ask Mommy” or “Mommy said no” but up until recently Sabrina didn’t know who “Kate” was
I think sometimes we all forget how hard things are in the beginning, especially those of us who have gone through distance and not being able to see the ones we love just any old time. When we reflect it makes us love them even more and appreciate the little things.
Adorable post!
I love the two photos down the bottom! It’s funny how completely different Dan looks now to how he looked in 2000. You’re still recognisable, but he looks like a different man!
Aww! look at you two in that first picture- babies the pair of you!!
Lovely post
Hmm.. I don’t really remember speaking in 3rd person..
I know I do sometimes and I have in the past, but I don’t think it took over like that.
I don’t have many friends with kids, so I guess that’s why. Had to keep up my grown-up speak.
I think the “mommy needs..” Starts in order to establish with kids what your ‘name’ is. “Mommy loves you!” “Tell mommy what happened.”
My sweetheart and I spent 4 years together before closing the approx. 1500 mile difference for good. We moved in together the day after our 11 year anniversary of meeting. I still regularly have nightmares that I am going ‘home’ and appreciate going to bed each night with the man of my dreams.
And you know, he’s really effing warm. We live in the northern US and it is freezing here a good deal of the year. If he’s under the covers, I’m warm. We’re not the most cuddly sleepers, but I think that has to do with the amount of heat he generates
its funny how men are like that.
Wow I don’t think I ever realized that you started out in a long distance relationship. You’re right – it is extremely hard and I hope I never have to do it again. Those two pictures are so funny to look at now. I can’t wait untill Josh and I have years worth of pictures so we can compare too. It’s fun to look at differences. However, one thing that isn’t different about those two pictures is that you’re both happy and that’s what matters. <3