I’m sorry for the blunt title, but there’s no other way to put it. He’s dying. I’m at the hospital right now. He was admitted for kidney failure on Monday afternoon. For weeks he has been refusing dialysis, and in the past week instead of his usual three times a week for 4-6 hours each time, he went for an hour total. He has told the doctors and nurses repeatedly that he does not want to live anymore, that he’s just tired of everything, and that he’s had enough of the dialysis. So he’s here, and they’re respecting his wishes and are simply making him comfortable. As of last night his doctor guessed that he had 48 hours or less. The doctor came in today, and reassured my mom that my grandfather will pass away between today and tomorrow. He has mostly been sleeping, though he’s awake every now and then. He talks off and on, and he does recognize us and does his best to respond to us.
This is so damn hard. I’m still not over my grandmother’s death, and now I’m losing my grandfather. I’m relieved that he is dying peacefully, because I know that he doesn’t want to live any longer. I respect that, and I certainly understand that. He is heartbroken over the loss of my grandmother, and his health has gotten progressively worse since her death. But it doesn’t make losing him any easier.
So we sit, and we wait. And wait. My grandfather is sleeping most of the time, so my mom and I are occupying ourselves as best as we can, with the TV, our laptops and a few books. But for the most part we’re just sitting here crying and talking about him. My thirteen year old brother is here — I emailed the director of his school, called this morning and went and picked up my brother this afternoon. My eleven year old brother (who is with a foster family right now) will be here around 6pm tonight to say his goodbyes, and our pastor will be stopping by at some point as well.
I hope we don’t have to wait too long. That sounds incredibly cold, but he’s dying, there’s no way around it. I want my grandfather to die peacefully, and not linger. Having things drag out is just cruel.
Sorry to hear. You and your family are in my prayers.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I lost my great-grandfather in May, and it was quite similar. We all knew he was getting too old and too tired to fight any longer. His body was shutting down, and nothing could stop it. My great-grandmother passed away about 12 years ago, and he’d been saying for the past couple years that he was ready to see her again. It doesn’t make it much easier, but it does help to think that he’s going to a much better place, and will be relieved of his pain and suffering. *Huge hugs*
Be thankful you get to have a few words with him. I think that was the hardest part of my Dad and Aunt is that they were both comatose, so I didn’t truly get to say goodbye. Loss and grief are never, ever easy, but you have to learn to let go and move on. Your relatives wouldn’t want you constantly grieving over them and have you lingering on their death. You have to keep that in your mind.
If you ever need someone to talk to about it, grief is one thing I know more about then just about anyone I know, and I’m more then willing to help.
Oh Jenn.. I hope he goes as peacefully as possible. I can’t imagine how hard it is to just sit and wait for a family member to pass on. I will pray for you and your family in this difficult time *hugs*
I’m so sorry Jenn.
I understand how you feel about hoping it doesn’t last long. It’s hard to see a loved one suffer. I will keep your family in my thoughts. 
It doesn’t sound cold. He’s choosen this and you following his wishes is the most respectful and loving thing that you could do. You are going against what you want (him to live) to honor his wishes. I’ve been there Jenn, so I know that there’s really nothing that I can say or do to make this better for you right now but know that I’m thinking about you and your family. Stay strong. <3
So sorry Jenn..
aaw, this is so sad. I lost my grandma on April 23rd of this year and then lost MY MOM on May 10th of this year so I know what you are going through. It’s hard but I want you to know that you are in my prayers and I wish you the best. If you need someone to talk to, email me anytime msladired@comcast.net. We can lend on each other through emails because losing someone so close is hard and you could use all the love and support you can get.
Stay strong.
-hugs-
I’m sorry, Jenn. At least he is dying on his terms, the way he chooses to, and he will be happy on the other side with your grandmother.
your family are in my thoughts.
I think Anna said it best. I’m sorry that you and your family are going through this. At least you get to say your goodbyes. I don’t know what way is better, though. I don’t know if it’s harder to have things happen suddenly or do it this way, but at least he’s not in pain.
We’re here for you. I know everyone says stay strong but I don’t really subscribe to that type of try-best-to-get-over-it grieving anymore, so, I hope you get to feel however you need to feel for as long as you need to feel it, and we’ll be here for you throughout. *huge huge hugs*
I’m so sorry. I get what you said though about not waiting too long and him lingering. I felt that way before about almost everyone else who I’ve seen suffer. Yet, I’m watching my grandmother die right now and I’m so selfish that it could not take long enough. But, I don’t think I’m strong enough to actually say goodbye to her…ever.
Glad your brothers get to be there with him as well. I hope you and your mom make it through this ok.
I lost all my grandparents before I was 6, so I can’t say that I ever really knew them. I only remember one, my dad’s mom, mainly because she was the last one to go. Just be glad that you got to really know your grandparents, you got to spend time with them, and they got to spend some time with your kids. It’s going to be hard, and I think it’s good that you got the chance to say your goodbyes.
Jenn, I’m so sorry to hear about this but at least he is going on his own terms and peacefully. You’re not heartless, this is what he wants and everyone is respecting that which is the most important thing.
Oh Jenn I am so sorry. If anything, I’m glad it will be peacefully and with his family. I hope that you are all able to get through this. You’re all in my prayers.
I am so sorry Jenn. I know losing a grandparent is hard. I am only a phone call away if you need anything.
I am so sorry for you and your family Jenn. You and your family are in my prayers.
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I recently lost someone very close to me and I know exactly how you feel. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry.
You have my sympathies. My grandma lost her battle to cancer about 10 years ago. She was in the hospital for over a year trying to fight it. It was hard visiting her every weekend and seeing her slowly slip away.
Angela said it best that your relatives don’t want you to grieve over their deaths forever. I know my grandma would be horribly upset if she knew how much I still missed her. Instead I think she would want me to focus on all the great memories we shared and be happy that she was in my life.
Thinking of you and your family.
V xx
I prayed for your family last night. Woke up and had to check your blog, see the power you have over people
Anyway hope all is well today and everyone is at peace with everything going on!
I am so sorry Jenn. I can somehow understand how you feel as I lost both my grandparents 6 months ago. My grandmother who was otherwise healthy passed away suddenly and my grandfather who was fighting with leukemia followed her after 14 days. I now believe there was some higher power who heard my grandmother’s wish to die before my grandfather…he was suffering. I understand your pain. Think of it as your grandfather’s wish being granted to be with your grandmother and stay together in another world where they will never have to part from each other. I will pray for your family to have the strength and may both your grandparents meet in heaven. Take care Jenn. It will be okay.
Aaw Jen, I’m so sorry! You’ll be in my thoughts.
i know how it is to sit and wait for a loved on to die , i had to do that with my father just a few months ago ..
i just want to say i send my deepest condolences.
Oh, Jenn, I’m sorry. You’re in my thoughts.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather ,my DH lost his grandmother today.It was sudden and unexpected,so well all the best to you and yours.Sorry I’m a little shakey about the subject
I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your family.
wow. i’m sorry. i hope your grandpa goes happy and peacefully.
thinkin of you guys 
aww, i’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. =(
Jenn, I am so very sorry about your grandfather. At least you have the comfort of knowing you were able to say your goodbyes and that he won’t be alone when he goes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
i’m so sorry about your grandfather. at least you get to be there for him in his last hours and say your goodbyes.