Tonight it really hit me. I’m 25 years old, and what I want in my life is a far cry from what I actually have in my life. On one hand, I’ve come so far, and I’ve accomplished a lot. I have a family that I love, children I adore, work I enjoy, and there’s enough money for us to pay our bills and enjoy a little bit of fun here and there (so much different than this time five years ago, when we barely had enough to make ends meet, and would have serious discussions about purchasing a $20 item, because it would have such an impact on our budget).
But on the other hand… I feel like I haven’t gone very far at all, I haven’t achieved much. There are a lot of disappointments, and there are seriously some mornings when I wake up and think, “This is it? This is what I have?” and then push myself to just make the best of things. And then I feel bad for feeling bad, because in the scheme of things I DO really have it good, and there are people who would probably happily amputate a toe to have what I have.
Meh. The things you think about when driving at night and the kids aren’t screaming or whining for your attention.
Anyway, I’m proud to say that I blogged every single day of this month! Don’t believe me? Check out the archvies! 
P.S. I promise I’m not throwing myself a pity party in this post. I’m just reflecting on some things I have been thinking about recently!
I think everyone has moments of introspection like that…at least I HOPE they do. As much as those thoughts can upset us or drive us crazy, they’re good for us. They help us strengthen our resolve and get us more focused on the future.
.-= Janet´s last blog ..It doesn’t take a genius =-.
I really feel the same way about my life, minus a couple of things. I look at my mom and she owned her own house by the time she was 21 and she had a job that was paying a salary(a good salary at that). Fuck I’m seriously slacking compared to her to her and you. I think that whole dream we have as kids of what success is sets us up for disappointment and “When the lights go out” moments like these. Then I think “hey, someone might actually be wishing or praying that they have some of the things I have or even the experience of my failed attemps. Still, when the lights are off or on, when I go to my crappy low paying job, open another student loan bill, and I see my mom’s face I can’t help but think “God if this is how my life is going to be at 30 kill me now.”
P.S. Bravo! on your post every day for the month with all the blogs and sites you have to maintain. Cheer up. I really envy that family life you have. Do you know what you would like to be doing? I personally, think you should do something grandiose with writing and photography professionally.
.-= Dee´s last blog ..Ikea & Its Awesomeness =-.
I think its great that we go through recognition and reflecting. I know what you mean Jenn, its tough, but we have to try and move on with passion even at the hard times.
I’m almost 23 in November and I feel the same way that you do. I find it horrible, I don’t feel happy to live because I feel that I have nothing to live for!!!
I hope things work out for ya Jenn… You deserve the best, everybody deserves the best… Hang in there hun xx
.-= Dan´s last blog ..Judging the Book by its Cover! =-.
Another blog had a similar post to this, and just like I told her – it’s good when you can weigh out the two of good and bad, and you realize you’re better off by far. I totally agree, the love you have and the love you can share with your family, some people would really amputate a toe for that
I’m in a serious relationship, and I wouldn’t trade what I share with him for the world. I defiantly take advantage of the good in my life – everyone should, too.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Bright colors are… for me? =-.
I think everyone does this. There were times when I’d get really depressed, especially before I had Sydney come along. I’d be really upset thinking this is it? This is life without anything I really wanted when I was younger? But honestly we have it all, we’ll always want more. Not that we’re selfish, but it’s just normal. I think probably even Obama, Brad Pitt, they even have days like that when they think Hey I could be doing more!
No pitty party. But I think everyone gets to this point sometime. Right now I get really down about things at times…mainly because of money. But sense you aren’t worrieing about money it can be other things, like not acheiving things you once thought you would. I havne’t been through enough yet to be there, but I’m sure my day will come.
I guess ya just gotta try to make the best and be happy with what you got. And if you have the means to try to achieve some of those things you wanted and don’t have right now!
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one that wakes up some mornings thinking that. I know I have LOADS to be thankful for…family, wonderful husband, nice house, etc., but there are a lot of goals and things I have not accomplished by 25 that I thought I would have…mainly kids and a college degree. I just keep telling myself that I am still young and have time to accomplish these things.
BTW, congrats on blogging every day. That’s on my “101 in 1001″ list of things to do, but I haven’t come close to reaching it.
.-= Kecia´s last blog ..The Nickelback Concert Rocked! =-.
I have been feeling the same way lately. It’s good to still keep in perspective all the things that you have accomplished even though you’re not 100% satisfied with your life at the moment. I think that’s definitely a great quality to have and a lot of people are unable to even see that much. Don’t apologize for feeling that way. I think most people do. It’s human nature to want to constantly better yourself. I hope that you are successful.
.-= Caity´s last blog ..Plint Pocketlint =-.