Adrenaline is a funny thing. It’s amazing how quickly you can go from being calm to feeling hot, feverish, flustered and shaky. I’m normally a pretty calm person, but when people come a-pounding on my door at 11:00pm over absolute bullshit, and then go batshit insane over aforementioned bullshit, I tend to snap a bit.
Let me back up a bit. We have a dickwad for a neighbor. He lives across the road from us. We had a run-in with him last summer, when he positioned a basketball hoop at the very edge of his driveway so that any rogue balls would bounce off every car in the surrounding area except for his. After a few days of balls bouncing off of our cars, and off the cars of family and friends as they came over, we obviously took offense, and POLITELY requested that the hoop be moved. In the end, it took several requests and a phone call to the police to have it moved, but it was.
So since then he has had his panties in a wad over us. Me, specifically. Did I mention that I called the police on him before that time? In that particular incident, I called the police because Dickwad came over, knocked on my door, and when I opened it to see what he wanted (at this point I had no idea he was a fucking lunatic), he proceeded to loom over me in a threatening manner and scream his head off in my face. This was because I asked his visiting friend to stop parking in my driveway, just because there is a spot free does not mean it’s there for the public, especially when you’re going to drop used cigarettes there (nothing like adding insult to injury, eh?). And of course this happened when Dan was at work and I was home alone with the kids.
Needless to say, Mr. Wadded Panties has hated our guts ever since. Apparently it isn’t reasonable for us to want our driveway, property we OWN, to be for our use only. And it is just as unreasonable for us to not want stray basketballs rebounding off the backs of our cars. Crazy, I know. *eyeroll* But seriously, those two occasions are the only instances where we have spoken out. And we only involved the police because polite, direct approaches DID NOT WORK (I swear, I am not a 911-happy person. I’m all for leaving law enforcement to take care of better issues so long as we can resolve issues on our own.). We keep to ourselves. Dan works 45-50 hours a week, and I’m busy 24/7 with the kids and my work. We keep to ourselves, plain and simple. We’re not loud, we’re not disruptive, our family members and friends aren’t parking in other driveways (who has the balls to do that, anyway?), and our kids certainly aren’t in other yards or helping themselves to other people’s things.
So what brought Dickwad to darkening our doorstep at 11:00pm? We parked one of our cars in our next door neighbor’s driveway. She is elderly and unable to do much for herself, let alone anything outside, so in exchange for mowing her lawn for her, she has generously and repeatedly offered us the use of the spare area in her driveway whenever we have company over (aside from my mom, that only happens every few weeks). So because we made plans for Jason to come over tonight, Dan and I parked the Hyundai in her driveway, alongside her car, so that Jason could park his vehicle in our driveway.
Dickwad has it in his head that because he (his grandson, actually) has mowed our elderly neighbor’s lawn the last few times (only because he happened to be mowing his own lawn on days when Dan wasn’t doing ours/hers), he has the exclusive use of her spare driveway spot, and we need to vacate it asap and never use it again.
The confrontation at our front door didn’t last long. The guy pretty much bellowed out his demand, and Dan no sooner started to reply to tell him that our neighbor has allowed us the use of the spot in exchange for the mowing he has done in the past (over a year’s worth now), when he (Dickwad, not Dan) went ballistic and started screaming that it’s for HIM to use, HE is mowing the lawn, WE need to move the car, and that Dan needs to step aside and they’ll settle things outside. At this point Dan, who was sort of next to/behind me (I answered the door, and DAMN am I glad I did) and was under the influence of a screwdriver, tensed up and was pretty much ready to plow past me and go outside with Dickwad. (Later Dan swore up and down that he would just talk to the guy, but please! I know how men are, especially when one or both have had a bit to drink.)
It took all my strength to shove Dan back and away from the door, and I did, while simultaneously slamming the front door in Dickwad’s face, turning the key in the bolt and flipping off the front porch light. No way was I letting him go out there and risk a confrontation that would most likely turn physical and require a call to the police. I’ll be damned if Dan is going to face potential charges and arrest over a spare driveway space that NOBODY but our next door neighbor has claim to or the right to fight over.
In conclusion, let it be said that I hate redneck powertripping neighbors that have nothing better to do than try to throw their weight around. Also, because a damn parking spot is not worth this kind of drama, until we get the chance to talk to our neighbor to find out what HER wishes are (since after all, it is her driveway), we’re not going to park our cars there.
WOW. I don’t understand people like that, and I am so sorry you have to live across the street from this guy! Let’s hope he moves soon!
.-= Jessy´s last blog ..Vacation(s)! =-.
Wow, I’ve never had to deal with that kind of “neighborly drama” but I SURE AS HELL would be mad if someone were parking in my driveway or bouncing balls off my car.
.-= Kelley´s last blog ..From the tiniest acorn, a mighty oak tree grows =-.
What an absolute idiot. Good call on just waiting to talk to the woman about it. It IS her decision, after all. Instead of being up in YOUR face, why isn’t he asking the lady if he has exclusive rights to the spot? Clearly because he knows if he blew up on HER then she’d tell him he’s not allowed to use it at all.
Because he’s a douche and he knows it.
Wow. Obviously someone is a miserable excuse for a human being and needs a life. I don’t blame you for slamming the door in his face b/c an assault charge is most definitely not needed.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..I had beginners luck! =-.
Clearly the man is insane . I am glad that things didnt get physical. Lets hope that douche of a man moves away.
OMG that man sounds nuts! I’ve never had to deal with any type of neighbor-drama, but that sounds pathetic. He sounds like a nosey asshole, who just needs to mind his own business!
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Weeds =-.
wow.. sounds like a real winner there…
do you have a window that can see who is at your door before you open it? i would just never open the door to that asshole again. and you totally are in the right for calling the cops on him. he sounds like a loose cannon and does not need to be in a neighborhood with elderly people or kids…1
Whoa talk about an arse hole! God I hate neighbours!
.-= Damita´s last blog ..Protected: Private =-.
That’s absolutely amazing… The things people just assume they’re entitled to. Just like you said, who the HELL has the balls to park in SOMEBODY ELSE’S driveway without permission and repeatedly?! I’m just floored by that. And boy are pissing contents fun between two men who’ve been drinking. I’ve had to restrain Devin from one once because out of nowhere some guy just started talking shit. The guy had the balls to grab the microphone my husband was holding and throw it down on the floor (it was karaoke at our neighborhood bar in SC). Ugh. So stupid! I’m glad you were able to keep Dan from going out and sinking down to your neighbor’s level.
.-= Mika´s last blog ..Damn Cats =-.
That’s complete and utter insanity. I don’t know how you deal with him. I have some crazy neighbors that like to start trouble wiht us but never have they come to my door shooting off.
.-= Shauna´s last blog ..Grow Up! =-.
Glad we do not have neighbors like yours in our midst. I think the worst we have in our neighborhood is the love triangle around the corner, but from what I hear it’s over already. I hope the redneck neighbor settles… or else moves. ;)
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Saturday morning plans = fail. =-.
I’d call the cops on him every time he stepped on my property, because he has threatened now by asking Dan to step outside. He’s obviously not looking for anything but conflict. He’s still got his panties in a wad because you don’t allow him free use of your own driveway. I also find it crazy that he is old enough to have a grandson and is still acting this way, not to mention he’s doing it in front of your little children. What a loser.
Wow, that guy must have no life if he’s sitting in his home, waiting for you to do something that he deems unacceptable, in order to confront you about it. His whole argument is completely ridiculous! We’ve had a lil bit of neighbor drama because of the kids in the neighborhood, but nothing like that!
.-= Kecia´s last blog ..Lots of Family, Friends, and Weight Loss Time =-.
That’s not appropriate behaviour on his part and honestly I wouldn’t think it to be silly if you got a restraining order against this man so that if he walks one FOOT on to your property without YOUR permission you are free to call the police. Who knows? Next time you answer the door what’s to stop this asshat from hitting you? Be careful.
.-= Sean´s last blog ..Emotional mess. =-.
omg.. neighbors. at my and davids apt the people were generally quiet, but parking was always the biggest issue. I don’t know how many times david and i parked in the grass right in front of our door. i complained about the junk broke down cars with no tags that sat in the parking lot, but nothing was ever done
my parents have these nosey ass neighbors who are all up in everyones business all the time. its crazy
.-= nichole´s last blog ..whats up sunshine =-.
M DH keeps telling me that you have no legal right to park outside your own home.. It’s a bugbear of mine this topic. Saturdays are the worst for parking round here.We live in the boonies and Saturdays and to the lesser extent Sundays are football ! We live opposite the footie field (which is lovely to watch all the fit legs etc but I digress! ) SOCCOR MOMS.. Invading the whole entire area to watch their little Tarquins pretend to play
If you stand still for long enough-you will be parked on!! I kid you not. If you dare to move your car at any stage during the weekend, then forget about it! Will normally takes the kiddies to their grandarents on weekends- he’s gotten wise to the fact now and the walk over instead of using the car- the grandparents only live at the end of the village thankfully enough! (5 or so mins away)
as someone suggested get a restraining order- what if he throws a shitfit when Dan isnt there?
.-= Tehya´s last blog ..You won’t see me for dust =-.