All right fellow fat chicks, listen up. There’s a grave offense I see over and over again, and it bugs me to no end: Frumpy Fat Girl Syndrome. Now, I understand that it sucks to be fat, and the last thing you want to do is show off every last imperfection. But the solution is NOT to hide your shape in baggy, dumpy jeans or pants that look like you’re carrying a load of crap in them, and tops that are big, billowy and tent-like. You look frumpy. And frumpy is not a good look to be sporting, especially if you’re under the age of 30!
Now, I can hear my mother now: “Jenn, you’re going to look fat no matter what.” And you know what? She’s absolutely right. It doesn’t matter whether I wear black, white, vertical stripes, jeans with tummy controllers or minimizing bras. I am still going to look fat. And you know what? I’ve accepted that (though I’m working on changing that!). But all that means is that I need to work with fits and styles that fit my body and flatter to the best of their ability. One thing I sometimes say to Dan, even though I shouldn’t because it’s a self-downer, is “Yeah, you’re right, I look good… for a fat girl.”
My point is that frumpy clothes don’t look good on anybody, skinny or fat. I don’t care if you’re 100 lbs. or 300 lbs., baggy, shapeless clothing is NOT the way to go. If you’re wearing plus sizes, I suggest you find clothes that fit without clinging. I personally think that a pair of snug fitting jeans that hug the hips and flare out at at the calf are best, especially when paired with a cami & sweater or hoodie, or a ruched top (also? fluttery sleeves are da bomb!) that has elastic at the waist (I LOVE those tops — they stay in place, and are generally a little baggier right above the tightened elastic so that there’s no unsightly flab clingage). Or, a pair of dark boot-legged jeans paired with a flowing peasant top. But not too flowing. Tops that are too long and come to rest over your butt, or worse yet beneath it, just do not look good (again, this is in the Book of Jenn). Also, tops that are too short? EQUALLY BAD. If you have the whole fat girl/pregnancy/c-section tummy pouch thing like I’ve got going on, the last thing you want to do is show it off. Aim for a length that stops right around the bottom of your zipper.
Now, I’m not one to show off or flaunt really, but there are a few photos I want to include, only because I think they do a good job of providing visual aids to this particular topic. Believe me, I know I don’t have much to work with — or should I say that I have too much to work with? — but I do try to make the best of it. I’m not afraid to flaunt my curves, even if they are more generous than the norm. I wear supportive, lifting bras that make the girls look good, jeans that are slightly snug without revealing every last dimple or causing the dreaded muffin top, and tops that are a bit tight around the bust and looser (but just a bit) around the waist, yet long in the sleeve so I don’t reveal the dreaded bingo flaps. I also LOVE to accessorize: hair bands & clips, jewelry, makeup, and cute bags to complete whatever look it is I’m trying to achieve.
The photos:
In conclusion? I’m not happy with my body, but I’m not going to hide it under shapeless clothing that makes me look like a walking tent with arms and a head. I make the most of what I have, and enjoy being fashionable even though I am fat. 
P.S. First photo (purple shirt): ignore the fact that my black tank top rode down over my ass, since that pretty much contradicts what I said about shirt length!
P.P.S. See how snug my jeans are in the last photo (orange hoodie)? They’re now quite baggy — unattractively so!
I agree 100%! I love the fact that you flaunt your shape, no matter what it is. Have you ever watched What Not to Wear? That’s what they say to every single woman who shows up. It’s about working with what you have, no matter what that is. There’s no “bad” body but there are “bad,” bad, BAAAAD clothing choices. ;)
I think the biggest reason for Frumpy Fat Girl Syndrome (which I have a major case of because I love baggy clothes LOL) is that well, frankly, when I wear the baggy clothes I don’t hear as many comments about how fat I am as I do when I wear clothes that fit well, aren’t too tight or too baggy, have a good cut, etc. Rarely do I get told I look good when I wear something that isn’t baggy, shapeless, and the darkest colors I can find (dark gray & black). So a lot of that could have something to do with the way we get treated when we do attempt to dress better. That and if the fashion industry would be so kind as to provide decent clothing for us at prices that are reasonable. I don’t call a pair of jeans that only goes to size 20 or 22 and costs $60 to be reasonable. LOL
@Cat: LOL, I can’t stand What Not to Wear, mainly because no one ever seems to go on there because THEY want to change their look. They go on there because someone else says they need to change. I often wonder how many of them go back to their old wardrobes as soon as they get home. ;)
But there ARE bad clothing choices. It’s obvious if someone chooses a piece of clothing that isn’t flattering to them – but like I said…it’d be nice if the fashion industry would include those of us who aren’t size 2. LOL
Sing it, sister! I soooo agree and love that you didn’t make it 100% about ‘fat girls’. At 5’7 and a size ten I’m not big but not small. I also have a larger-than-average chest for my size (36DD) and have a hard time finding clothes that don’t make me look like a ho but also let me show off that I do have some waist still. I feel so awkwardly in-between, and it seems things look so much better on EVERYONE ELSE than on me! I see the clothes you wear and think gosh that looks great on Jenn, it sure would look stupid on me though! like this – http://www.flickr.com/photos/kiss-my-kitty/3876162847/ Would never be able to wear that. But don’t you just look oh-so-cool? : P
I also think my body is sort of awkwardly shaped. As an example? I’m 9 months pregnant and wearing the same jeans I was when I had no idea I could even have a baby. Maternity pants don’t fit. It’s just the way my hips, butt and stomach are aligned, I guess ~shrugs.
I do my best to flatter my shape. I think that’s very important. Today I was out waiting on my boyfriend when I saw one person after another, all shapes and sizes going and coming wearing pajamas and pajama-like clothes. I saw so many women AND men wearing the pants they ‘took a dump in’ (hahaha! loved that part) and I couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Yes, people will definitely judge you for your size- but a heck of a lot more people will judge you for not trying, whatever your size is.
You honestly inspire me. My body has no shape…it’s got a mind of it’s own and it pisses me off. The walking is doing nothing for me…
Now I know how to still look good while still looking like a something or other.
Good for you! I agree with you.
I agree don’t wear baggy clothes it’s just wrong, I like skinny jeans, big or small girls they look great
So true. A lot of my thinner friends are guilty of Frumpy Girl Syndrome, and then there’s this one biaaaatch (who I am *not* friends with) who is a size 22 in the least yet wears size 16-18 pants that she tucks under her VERY flabby belly, and stretches a too-small shirt over that all so she comes across looking horrible.
I have a very hourglass-y figure, but no back. Long legs and slim arms, but also a typical tummy of someone who’s lost a lot of weight, and I couldn’t even dream of wearing low-cut jeans or stuff like that.
There’s no Bible as to how one should dress, and flaunting what you have should be obvious, but there are these girls you see out there and seriously… I wonder if they even own mirrors? A size 30 will not look good in a shirt that looks amazing on a size 2, simple as that, yet some girls just don’t seem to get it.
Another point that should be brought up is dressing with some taste. Not necessarily Gucci or designer stuff, but generally not having it all out there for everyone to see. I’ve seen lots of bigger girls be guilty of this – they feel they have nothing else to offer so they wear shirts were the neckline plunges to their belly button.
Seriously ugly and cheap-looking. Yuck.
I am so incredibly guilty of wearing frumpy clothing, but do try to step it up a notch when having to go out into public. My problem is not that I don’t know what looks good on my body, but that I am too cheap to purchase new clothes for myself.
@Charity: I’m sure most of them go right back.
Although one of my teachers was actually on the show, and she dresses pretty okay now. So I guess it depends? Haha.
I wholeheartedly agree with this post. I think that more women need to embrace their curves, rather than try to hide them. If society wasn’t so quick to cover up what is considered ‘fat”, we wouldn’t have beautiful curvaceous women who are convinced their an overweight freak of nature.
You speak the truth and really hit the nail on the head. BTW, I LOVE that pale green top. http://www.flickr.com/photos/kiss-my-kitty/3945692932/ It falls and grazes all the right places!
I love how you dress. I love that you always seem to be made up even if it’s just a sit around the house kinda day. I’m not that good anymore. I used to scream about how if you were fat you could at least take care of yourself and have it going on, but I’m guilty of one too many pony tails nowadays. Trying to get out of that though!
I also find that the right jewelry will help take eyes off of the wrong places!
Uh…it looks to me like you’re wearing tents in half those pictures. I certainly don’t see anything new or creative.
@Ann: If you say so.
I think you look beautiful just the way you are and you dress beautifuly too, I hate to say it but some women who are over weight or what I call (Fluffy) make other Fluffy Women look bad and you are not one of those women.
Just because you are fluffy doesn’t me you have to wear things that don’t flater your figure.
Please come and comment on my site when you have the time I will be very thankfull for every comment I can get.
Ann…you really shouldn’t wear that ugly shade of bitter & nasty, it’s not very flattering on you.
Jenn, I think you look great! I totally agree that you should dress your body and not let your body dress you. My body has gone through it’s ups and downs (weight gain, weight loss, pregnancy) and I have always tried to dress to flatter my shape rather than hide it.
Your weight loss is really showing, especially in the purple shirt pic!
You have cute clothes. I really like that pink top with the hole in it (= You dress nice. For me, since I had a bf and a daughter, I don’t care what I look like – sad I know! But, that’s life for me as of right now. I SO need a shopping spree right quick. Lmao. damn Jenn i need your inspiration. You definitely can wear it niiiiiiiiiice. I’m fat and I want to look good
(talk about selfdowning).
I came across this on a whim, because I too, have fat-girl syndrome. I’m now a 14 but I WAS a 22. And I still have SERIOUS fat girl syndrome because of how I was. I work for Lane Bryant and one of the MAIN things I’ve learned since working there is when your dress your size, you look good, and when you look good, you feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, somehow, the weight starts to drop. When you look good, and you FEEL good about yourself, it starts to make a GREAT change in yourself and how you view yourself. It’s a vicious cycle too! It’s a gradual process, but if another girl I work with can loose 100 lbs in a year, by being happy with who she is, and trying to better herself, than anyone can. I’m proud of the size I am, but still have serious reservations about what I wear. I hope that other people can read this column and learn from it. YOU CAN do it. You just have to believe it.