Comments on: In the system http://www.jenn.nu/2009/10/22/in-the-system/ The blog of a married and babied chick. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 04:11:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Ranee http://www.jenn.nu/2009/10/22/in-the-system/#comment-76465 Ranee Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:40:49 +0000 http://www.jenn.nu/?p=6167#comment-76465 Well Jenn you know I'm in the system too, but I'm on the opposite end so I can see both sides of this. Your last paragraph about your mom pretty much summed it up. She darn well better work her rear end off to do what they say and make it stick after she gets them back. Just to avoid the system at all costs. Please keep an open mind about the new foster dad. Hopefully it was just a vibe and nothing more. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the brother that has had some pretty bad things going on at the school thing he was in? He has some sexual issues if I'm not mistaken? In my opinion he should only be placed with a very seasoned foster family of two parents. They should know what they are doing and cover their asses, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to make things up like he has in the past. Please just don't buy into everything as soon as it is said. And yes, document it all. Foster care 101. Get a tablet per child you ever have, start writing everything in it, even if it is just your feelings from the day. Anything the parents do, any accusations the kid makes, etc. You do the same. If foster dad gets shitty, write it down, date and time. I've told you this before, but ombudsperson is the one you need to go to in order to get above everyone's head and get a completely impartial view on the situation. They will investigate and they will tell you exactly like it is when they do! Well Jenn you know I’m in the system too, but I’m on the opposite end so I can see both sides of this. Your last paragraph about your mom pretty much summed it up. She darn well better work her rear end off to do what they say and make it stick after she gets them back. Just to avoid the system at all costs.

Please keep an open mind about the new foster dad. Hopefully it was just a vibe and nothing more. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the brother that has had some pretty bad things going on at the school thing he was in? He has some sexual issues if I’m not mistaken? In my opinion he should only be placed with a very seasoned foster family of two parents. They should know what they are doing and cover their asses, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to make things up like he has in the past. Please just don’t buy into everything as soon as it is said.

And yes, document it all. Foster care 101. Get a tablet per child you ever have, start writing everything in it, even if it is just your feelings from the day. Anything the parents do, any accusations the kid makes, etc. You do the same. If foster dad gets shitty, write it down, date and time. I’ve told you this before, but ombudsperson is the one you need to go to in order to get above everyone’s head and get a completely impartial view on the situation. They will investigate and they will tell you exactly like it is when they do!

]]> By: Pepper http://www.jenn.nu/2009/10/22/in-the-system/#comment-76464 Pepper Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:46:20 +0000 http://www.jenn.nu/?p=6167#comment-76464 I agree with the pp def write those things down. If something happens, hopefully not, but if something happens so they do not go back to your mom you are going to want something to prove that you are not getting your chance to be with the boys. And then you have proof of issues if something even worse were to happen to your brothers in these homes. I was just going to say. My family does not like the foster system. In my extended family I have seen how messed up there system really is. I agree with the pp def write those things down. If something happens, hopefully not, but if something happens so they do not go back to your mom you are going to want something to prove that you are not getting your chance to be with the boys. And then you have proof of issues if something even worse were to happen to your brothers in these homes.

I was just going to say. My family does not like the foster system. In my extended family I have seen how messed up there system really is.

]]> By: Kat http://www.jenn.nu/2009/10/22/in-the-system/#comment-76463 Kat Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:21:52 +0000 http://www.jenn.nu/?p=6167#comment-76463 Jenn, This must be so hard on you, I can't even imagine what it is like as an adult with younger siblings in foster care, and unable to do anything about it except demand answers to your questions, and sometimes be a bitch to get those answers. I really hope that your mom does everything right so that your brothers can come home by that end date, and that the bad vibes you got from the new foster parents, are nothing more than vibes, that they aren't going to do anything to hurt your brothers, or somehow sabotage your mom's ability to get them back. Just to be safe, document everything, all of the times you ask to take them out to eat, for example, and they say no, or send treats home with your brother's and they get tossed in the garbage. Be specific, times, dates, what the requests were, what treats were thrown away etc. Heck, even write down what the foster parents were wearing at the date and time, as much "evidence" as you feel the need to have just in case something should go wrong with your brothers being home on the end date. Really wishing this had never happened at all, but hoping for a quick and positive end. Jenn,
This must be so hard on you, I can’t even imagine what it is like as an adult with younger siblings in foster care, and unable to do anything about it except demand answers to your questions, and sometimes be a bitch to get those answers.

I really hope that your mom does everything right so that your brothers can come home by that end date, and that the bad vibes you got from the new foster parents, are nothing more than vibes, that they aren’t going to do anything to hurt your brothers, or somehow sabotage your mom’s ability to get them back.

Just to be safe, document everything, all of the times you ask to take them out to eat, for example, and they say no, or send treats home with your brother’s and they get tossed in the garbage.
Be specific, times, dates, what the requests were, what treats were thrown away etc. Heck, even write down what the foster parents were wearing at the date and time, as much “evidence” as you feel the need to have just in case something should go wrong with your brothers being home on the end date.

Really wishing this had never happened at all, but hoping for a quick and positive end.

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