This week, my fourteen year old brother
- had to write the same sentence over 200 times
- has to write that same sentence another 200 times this weekend
- lost all of his privileges, including the “privilege” of eating snacks
- was not allowed to call me
Why? Because I sent him a Christmas card.
Yes, cue the shocked gasps and looks of horror. My brother, who had no clue I was even planning on sending him a Christmas card, was read the riot act and punished by his foster father because I had the audacity to mail him a Christmas card.
I. AM. LIVID.
Seriously, it was a motherfucking Christmas card. And you know what? I got the address from my mother, who has at least twenty different documents with it and the foster father’s full name and telephone number plastered all over it.
Jesus. What would this guy have done if I mailed my brothers cookies and a little Christmas care package, as I originally intended on doing next week?
I’ve already emailed the state agency that oversees the foster placement, and I plan on attending a visit with my brothers on Tuesday so I can do a little riot act reading of my own (to the foster father & the state agency). The state agency social workers think I’m aggressive? Those bitches obviously don’t realize I’ve been on good behavior around them. They’re going to get plenty of aggression come Tuesday.
Let me repeat: I. AM. LIVID. I am literally shaking with anger. That’s my baby brother. You do NOT fuck with him, especially over something so innocent and ridiculously trivial as a motherfucking Christmas card that he didn’t even know about until it showed up in the mailbox.
That is absolutely crazy. How can the state even place your brother with someone who would treat a kid that way for something that wasn’t his fault. Absolutely appauling!
That is seriously disturbing to hear…over a Christmas card. Wow, wonder what the penalty is for twiddling your thumbs are. That is seriously insane. Give em hell!
I just can’t get my head around that.. WHY would he be punished for that? Utter bs! Give ‘em hell Jenn!
Over a CHRISTMAS CARD?! From his SISTER?! Seriously? WTF. I would pay big bucks to see the Jenn Smackdown.
This is just so ridiculous. At first I was like “She’s joking right? She has to be” Then reality sunk in. I would have slapped that foster father silly.
That is so mean!! WTF?? Its a Christmas card. I hope you lay into there asses big time Tuesday!
Just a Christmas card? That is not fair, especially since you’re his sister! Good luck with the visit.
You better go through them and back out Jenn! You’re Livid? -he isn’t even my brother and I was f-ing and blinding at the screen whilst reading it!
If he blows up about that- a card from his sister- is your brother safe there? It goes deeper than a silly card-what if your brother (boys ARE boys right?) actually did do something wrong-how would this foster ‘father’ react to it?
Jesus.
Uh, YOUR BROTHER IS NOT SAFE THERE. This foster parent is not working in the best interest of the child. First of all any info like that is acceptable for family members to have, for contact like this. ESPECIALLY when the end result is re-unification. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that what is going on at this point in time?
Now, by your state agency I hope you’ve contacted the OMBUDSPERSON for your state. I’m sorry Jenn but as a foster parent who has dealt with some shitty situations I can tell you that this dude is not doing what he is supposed to be doing. What was the sentence just for giggles? I WILL NOT LET MY SISTER SEND ME CHRISTMAS CARDS? Come on. I’m also not sure that calling you was a privilege. It should be part of the plan if it isn’t already. This foster father is (in my opinion) attempting to put a wrench in the plan that is being worked toward. He’s teaching your brother that he should be ashamed to have contact with you or that he did something wrong.
If it were that big a deal why not throw the card away and not let him have it? I’m sure the foster father monitors the mail because he sounds like a Nazi. I personally think what needs to be done here is not suggesting new foster placement but DEMANDING IT. If it needs to be before a judge so be it. DEMAND a move. DEMAND new workers if you have to. I would stand there and demand the move in placement until it was either done or the cops were called on me. I would instruct my brother to start demanding it as well. Eventually it will happen and even though this might sound like shitty behavior, I think he’s way worse off where he is and a little non compliance on your guys part is ok.
PS, we could all just start writing letters to the head agency in PA and the Ombudsperson about how craptastic this foster parent is. I’m disgusted.
I completely agree with Ranee. Unless there is a specific clause to not allow contact, the foster father is completely in the wrong place. And even if there WAS, punishing your brother for receiving a card is dealing with the wrong side of things. It sends the message that reunification is something to be in trouble for. I can NOT believe this.
All children in care are entitled to the right of not having their mail read or opened by someone else. The foster parent is not allowing the child to have his rights.
On a happier note, I just opened my domain and am using your simplicity theme
What a load of shit! The state must really have their heads up there asses. They take your brother away from you guys and put him in a place where he gets punished for receiving a Christmas card?! Let’s forget for a minute that it was a mere Christmas card, your brother has no control over what you do so why should he get punished just cause you sent him one? Gawd! That is fucking ridiculous!
all that over a damn Christmas card? that is so immature and stupid of them. especially that you are his sister for life sakes. he definately sounds likes hes not in a safe place and the state needs to open their eyes and see what and how things really are. good luck for everything and hope everything works out.
Wow… yes that is BEYOND RIDICULOUS.
that is TOTALLY insane. go after them jenn!!!!! all the best and good luck!!!!!
Wow Jenn I would be absolutely livid too. I hope that you definitely do something about this because your brother really deserves better treatment than that!!
All over a Christmas card… What the hell is wrong with him? Even if they have some bizarre problem with cards or something, there was no reason for him to be punished over it. I hope the verbal ass kicking you give them makes them open their eyes and do what’s best for your brother.
I was stewing over this some more. Does your brother have a CASA? Would that be a better way to go? I think you can request one if there are problems. I’m not sure though? Anyway I’m just livid that we’re taught to NEVER PUT OUR HANDS ON A CHILD, but it seems to be perfectly acceptable to fuck with their brains.
All over a Christmas card… What the hell is wrong with him? Even if they have some bizarre problem with cards or something, there was no reason for him to be punished over it. I hope the verbal ass kicking you give them makes them open their eyes and do what’s best for your brother.