One question that has come up time and time again since I announced on Twitter that I was having gastric bypass surgery (the morning of my surgery, when I was on my way to the hospital!), and then blogged about it, is why I chose to have the surgery. If I was losing weight on my own, why couldn’t I have continued with that path? Honestly, that is a question that I asked myself several times over the eight month period I spent preparing for surgery (note: the normal pre-surgery period is six months, but two months were lost in the summer due to two deaths in the family, vacation, and some missed lab work I had to have re-done, and then a psychological evaluation I had to have re-done because the previous one expired). The answer? I was honestly afraid that I wouldn’t be able to continue doing it on my own. It’s happened so many times in the past. Focus and put my mind to losing weight, drop 10 – 20 lbs., then slack off just a bit on monitoring food intake and upping the physical activity, and before I know it all of the weight is back on… and then some. And without the surgery, it would more than likely happen again, and again, and again. I would spend the rest of my shortened life struggling with morbid obesity and being unhappy and unhealthy.
I have absolutely no regrets about the surgery. As I type this, I am wearing a size 20 in jeans (I used to wear a size 26), a 42DD bra (I used to wear a 46DDD), and a very baggy cami that used to be on the snug side. I weigh 245.2 lbs. (I used to weigh 331 lbs.). I am just 14.2 lbs. from being able to say that I lost 100 lbs. I can feel my thigh bones, hip bones and rib cage. I can see my collarbones. In fact, seatbelts rub against them, which is a very odd feeling! Dan can hold me so much closer. Sex is a thousand times more enjoyable (not to say that it wasn’t enjoyable before!). I’m more flexible. I can slide in and out of my [small] car easier. I have more energy. I feel better. I look better. And because I look better, I feel better about myself.
It took me seven months — from April 2009 to November 2009 — to lose 45 lbs. And during the eleven days leading up to my grandfather’s death, when I wasn’t actively watching every single bite and was living on take-out and frozen meals (since my mother and I were living in a hospital room, out of a bag, and then in a hospice room, out of a few more bags), I gained six pounds. SIX MOTHERFUCKING POUNDS. How’s that for a sucktacular metabolism? That just cinched the deal for me. I was doing it, no ifs, ands or buts.
My mother’s side of the family has a long and complex history of heart attack, heart disease, stroke, blood clots, varicose veins, high blood pressure and diabetes — all conditions that can be caused by or exacerbated by morbid obesity. Morbid obesity itself basically guarantees a shortened life expectancy. Add on several or even just a few or perhaps one of those conditions, and I’m basically asking to die before I turn 55. 60, if I’m lucky. I’m sorry (actually, I’m not), but I’d like to live until retirement age. I’d like to see my children grow up and have children. I’d like to be a grandmother to those children, and give them the same kind of wonderful memories I have of my grandmother. I’d like to be with Dan for a very long time, and not leave him a widower when he’s still young enough to hit on 30 year old women, and then hit that, if you get my meaning.
Having gastric bypass surgery changed my life for the better. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am. But I’m sure you can see it in most of my DailyBooth and Flickr photos. You may even be able to get the happiness vibe from a lot of my blog entries and tweets. I am happy. I honestly don’t care if I throw up a meal or two every day for the rest of my life; finally being able to lose weight and keep it off makes it worth it. And to be honest with you, the loss of gag reflex + well chewed food + a lack of digestive fluid in my stomach pouch = vomiting that really isn’t all that unpleasant. It’s just annoying, especially because I desperately need to hold onto every morsel I eat, since these days I’m not eating enough, and I’m deficient in protein and probably several nutrients as well.
Besides, the vomiting will probably subside as I get further post-op. I keep reminding myself that I am “only” nine weeks post-op. I’m worlds away from where I was a week post-op, when I was crying (real tears) over the “loss” of food (even though it was a temporary loss) and getting excited over soup broth and cream of wheat; but I still have a ways to go. My body won’t be fully healed and I won’t be fully “normal” until I am at least six months post-op.
Also, some of my vomiting issues stem from me eating too quickly (something I am still working on!), trapped air (from talking during eating), and leftover water still chilling in my stomach pouch (I’m trying to go longer between eating and drinking to see if that will help!).
So, there’s your answer. It’s long-winded, but I think it explains my feelings on my gastric bypass surgery quite well. 
I’m glad you made the choice. It’s obviously made you much happier and it really is infectious for all of us that read your blog!
You used to own kiss-my-kitty, right? I used to read your blog. So glad to have found your new home (several years later, I know!)
Congrats on the surgery. I’m glad to hear it was successful and you are happy with it. Keep up the great work on the weight loss! <3
I’m glad your happy and it sounds like it was worth doing for the long term health benefits. But I worry about the psychological implications – that you’re now happy to throw up as long as you’re losing weight and you’re deficient in nutrients. I guess it will all take time to work itself out though, so good luck
I was actually looking at some of your older videos and what a difference. Your doing such a good job!!!
I don’t really watch your videos, I fail at that. But I can see it in photos just the same. I can see you getting excited about a shirt, and I can feel your pain on that issue. We all have things that we hold onto and hope to wear again, but like you said trying so hard and when you weren’t trying so hard gaining 6lbs??? Just doesn’t seem like you would have gotten it done that way does it?
You seem so much happier. For that alone it was worth it in my eyes. You’ll get to a place where you aren’t throwing up as much or at all. It’s going to even out I promise you. You’ll be able to go sit in a restaurant with your husband and order a normal meal and eat just a little, not throw up, and have food for like two more meals to take home. It is just going to take time just like you said. But you aren’t going to be this throw up wonder for the rest of your life. I believe I christened the parking lots of a three state span while getting used to the ins and outs of this stuff. But you have such a better network and way better info than I did. I didn’t even know the term dumping until you blogged about it and then the phenom made perfect sense to me as oh that was called dumping??
I maintain you kick ass for chronicling it all!
I think it’s awesome that you did this for yourself and I’m so happy it’s worked out well for you
Woooohooo!! Well done Jenn
Good for you! You deserve all of those things, regardless of how you make your goal. Congrats on getting this far, and good luck continuing!!
I truly don’t mean this to come across as rude or condescending, but I wondered this many times since reading about your surgery. I’ve been a long time reader and as someone overweight myself, I can understand the temptation to choose surgery and “instant gratification” per se, as opposed to the longer, harder road of losing the weight through diet and exercise. I’ve really tried to keep to myself because this is your decision and it’s really nobody’s business but yours.
That being said, since it was brought up I have to tell you, I was incredibly disappointed in you. As someone who I would say is a role-model type for the empowered plus size woman, to choose this path when you were very clearly losing weight on your own. I was so proud of you for choosing a healthier lifestyle (something I’ve recently re-commited to myself after having two children. I used to be very, very athletic and I really have no excuse other than I let myself go)
I would have more understanding for someone who was single or childless and making a selfish decision… who is at risk for that other than yourself? Your parents and family would likely support your decision, and they would have the opportunity to voice their dismay if not. However, you have two young children, and you chose to have a life-threatening surgery, which says to me that A.) You don’t value your importance in your children’s lives or B.) You don’t appreciate the behavior you could model to them by choosing to work hard and change your lifestyle or C.) You just don’t care. I have no idea which one it is, but it seems unlikely that it could be none of the above.
You talk about the risk of dying at 55 or 60 due to poor health caused by carrying excess weight, yet you’re willing to have a very dangerous surgery that could leave your children without a mother at the ages of, what, 5 and 3? And many, many of those health risks that you mentioned could be greatly reduced by observing a healthy lifestyle that includes diet and regular exercise.
I truly don’t mean to be offensive, but I just felt like this should be addressed for how I perceived it; a very selfish decision. I really like reading your blog and I wish you the best, and I’m happy for you in a sense because confidence and self-worth are very important parts of a person’s well-being. I just felt like you really let us down.
Even though I’ve read about it when you actually went for it ( I haven’t commented – dont ask me why because I dont even know ) it’s nice to know the exact details in one entry and be able to refresh the memory