I spent the better part of 2010 constantly cramming 48 hours worth of to-dos in a 24 hour day. Taking on more and more, making room for stuff repeatedly, crashing hard every 5-7 days, and apologizing and feeling guilty when I just didn’t have the scrap of time or the energy required for a task or a leisurely thing. Everything kind of snowballed and exploded in October, when I was frantically trying to cover a million bases in preparation for me needing about a week or so off for surgery. I made the abrupt decision (though it had been an idea I was tossing around for several weeks, and something I had little inklings about for months) to change how my life was going, and since mid-November I have been… free. Well, not free, but it certainly feels like it. I’m freelancing. I work when I want. Amazingly, while I’m still working hard, I suddenly have more time. I set my alarm not for work, but for the kids (school). I sleep in on the weekends. Fuck, I’ve been taking naps — planned and unplanned (unplanned are the best, in my opinion). I’ve been reading — I’ve devoured the first nine Sookie Stackhouse books in less than a month’s time, plus a dozen or so sampler books in between, and I’m currently two chapters into Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire. Most importantly, I’ve been spending a lot more time with Alyssa and Ryan, which they love. Our holiday season? Bustling and busy, yes, but exciting and fun and oh-so-memorable.
Anyway, how I’ve concluded the last slice of 2010 is how I plan on living 2011. And I’ve already started by talking with Dan and agreeing that we would claim New Year’s Eve for ourselves. Originally we planned on having dinner and people over, as we’ve been doing for the past five years. But… we used to have a routine. Just us, some wine or champagne, and sex at midnight. And that’s what we’re going to do this year, to the disappointment and anger of some of the people I informed today about our change of plans (though since nothing had really been planned out, nothing further than, “Well, we’ll probably do New Year’s at our house. Want to come over?”, how big of a “change” and how big of a “plan” was it?). And to that I say: I’m sorry. I’m sorry, BUT this is something I need to do. Something I want to do. Something I have the right to do. I’m sorry that it changes your plans, but hey, there’s two days worth of notice, and we’ll be doing a dinner on New Year’s Day instead 1. So you could say that it’s more of a change of plans than a cancellation of them. I want to spend time with my family and friends, but I want time for ME and time with just Daniel first and foremost. ♥ Is that so wrong to want?
With that said, it’s midnight and I still have a shower to take, and I want to get a move on before this pain 2 gets any worse.
well done hun, you should and must have time for yourself
Nah not at all wrong, I spend NYE in with the husband, I don’t want to see anyone and I want to have sex at midnight too ha ha!
If at the end of your life you spent it living for someone else, then how happy will you be? Do it for you and your loves.
I wonder if your mom will call at midnight even though you posted like last year that you always have sex and she always calls? Too funny!