I want my stamina back. Someone give me a magic stick (wand?) so I can wave it and make myself feel super perky and awesome and not all bloated and swollen and hurt-y and sluggish. Four abdominal surgeries in 26 months is rough. Two abdominal surgeries just ten weeks apart is brutal. I’m 10 days post-op today, but let me tell you, I’m not up for walking from one end of my house to the other and back again without feeling it. My belly isn’t as swollen as it was before, but even with Spanx (more for support than pretty sexy slimness at this moment) I’m still a bloated mess. I just took a Vicodin after battling soreness and twinges of pain and a severe feeling of being bruised from sternum to groin all day long. But I can see my toes again! Progress, right?

It’s 11:30pm on a Friday night, and while the rest of the mid-to-late 20-somethings of the world are doing relaxing or fun stuff offline or online, I’m eyeing my bed with more than a little longing. But I have a few work-related tasks to take care of before I go to bed, and I have some *cough*torrented*cough* downloads to rename, organize, and transfer to our media server (does anyone remember David the Gnome? I downloaded a bunch of episodes in the hopes of getting Alyssa and Ryan into it. I loved that show when I was a kid!).

Oh – there’s also hot pink hair dye in my hair. After I finally dragged myself into the shower, I forced myself to stand in front of the bathroom mirror and take five or so minutes to slather my hair with Manic Panic’s Hot Hot Pink. I accidentally used some regular (sulfate) shampoo a few times after my surgery, and turned my hot fuschia hair into pale blah cotton candy pink. Nothing against cotton candy pink, except that it does not go with my natural hair color, or my skin tone (Jenn =/= pastels). And speaking of dye, Ryan asked for green (and after doing my hair hot pink, turquoise, and purple over the past year, and then giving Alyssa hot pink streaks, who the hell am I to say no?), so my Bean is now green. Squee. It’s cute, though subtle (though it may look more vibrant in the daytime). He’s very excited to show his teachers and therapists (yes, my son is so damn special¹, he has two of them – one for each class). on Monday. He’s been showing them his newest skill – buttoning and unbuttoning. I showed him how to button up an adorable flannel button-down shirt the other morning, and according to what his therapists have written in his notebook, he’s spending his school days doing his school work and unbuttoning and buttoning his shirts all day long. But on the bright side, he’s no longer chewing on his shirt sleeves, or his school papers². He has five or six button-down shirts, but if need be I’ll get him some more. Heh.

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On the plus side, I was able to take my time getting dressed and putzing about with morning routines (letting the dog out, scooping the cat litter, feeding the fish, etc.), which is nice since post-op belly pain was also keeping me awake, and is making me sluggish and slower to move and do things. And, Ryan woke up not long after I did, and the two of us had time to not only talk about clocks and alarms (which he keeps calling “timers”), but to also read four books that he wants to take back to school to swap for new ones. Both he and Alyssa are doing AMAZING with their reading, FYI. And Alyssa? Hello computer whiz! The other day I discovered her watching Minecraft how-to guides on YouTube (that she looked up herself!) on my Macbook, while she was playing Minecraft on her desktop. ♥ that girl and her all-around awesomeness!

Right now I’m doing some work, enjoying a heated blanket in my lap, putting off taking a Percocet until I take care of at least another dozen emails (which kind of sucks in and of itself, because sitting upright like this for so long actually makes my belly hurt more, blech), and biding my time until I know the mail lady has come by, at which point I’ll drive down the road to our mailbox (don’t hate – I’m not lazy, just nine days post-op from abdominal surgery, swollen and still in some pain, and I still have that effing broken foot!), where January’s stipend check (from fostering my brother – we’re going to visit him this weekend!) will hopefully be waiting. Then I’m going to bug Dan to take me to the bank, so we can deposit it, and then call for another propane fill-up. Heating ain’t cheap³.

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Aside from pretty much going back to my “normal” everyday duties as a wife & mother as of yesterday afternoon, I don’t know what else could have caused this. I’m not wearing clothing that would irritate the incisions, I’ve left the scabs alone, I’m careful not to get the incisions wet when I shower, and I always carefully pat them dry after showering. Speaking of showering, I think I’ll skip mine tonight, because the one edge of the opened incision goes a little deep, so I want to avoid getting soap or water or contaminants in it. Now I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning feeling like a skank.

Thank you for subscribing to Jenn.nu's RSS feed! ♥ Jenn | Flickr: kiss-my-kitty | Twitter: @kissmykitty

Thank you for subscribing to Jenn.nu's RSS feed! ♥ Jenn | Flickr: kiss-my-kitty | Twitter: @kissmykitty

I can’t wait until I feel like myself again. The residual grogginess and fogginess from the anesthesia and initial crazy doses of IV-strength anti-nausea medication, Morphine, Dilaudid, and Percocet went away by Friday, but I’m still in enough pain that I’m taking painkillers, though I’m not taking them religiously, every four hours, like I initially did the first few days after surgery. I’m feeling better enough that I’m starting to feel restless, and am being driven just a little crazy by the various little messes and areas of disarray (small, minor, nothing to write home about, let alone give Dan any grief about; since he’s busting his ass working, taking care of kids & house, and me) around the house.

But I have to remind myself to take it easy, because when I don’t – like early this afternoon – I pay for it dearly. Plus, seeing as how I still need a bit of help getting myself in and out of bed, and out of the recliner when it’s in the reclined position, I shouldn’t be helping Ryan sort his games, or Alyssa pick up her five hundred and forty nine Littlest Pet Shop pieces. But the Must Be Clean and Organized with a Slight Case of OCD Queen inside of me begs to differ. Until I’m hurting so bad and am swollen so bad that I can’t stand up straight or draw a full breath, and I practically fall out of the shower into Dan’s arms, who helps me dress, feeds me a Vicodin and a protein shake, and puts me to bed for several hours.

I have also found out, the hard way (intense abdominal pain, vomiting), that I cannot tolerate solid food right now. Protein shakes, soft/mushy soups, and egg souffle (and even that is a little iffy) are okay. Anything else? No freaking way. Slightly annoying, but I have plenty of powder for protein shakes, and a lot of frozen-into-Jenn-portions soup stockpiled in our chest freezer. Also? I lost 2.2 lbs since Tuesday morning. There’s always a silver lining. ;)

My last few days, as documented by crappy cell phone and iPod Touch pictures:

Jason made mini donuts! (And my kids ate them all this morning.)

Kitten cuddles.

I’m allergic to Penicillin…and most forms of surgical tape.

Hospital discharge goal: not dying (helpfully added by Jason.

And yes, I really do wedge a pillow under my swollen belly so that I can sorta/kinda comfortably side sleep.

Thank you for subscribing to Jenn.nu's RSS feed! ♥ Jenn | Flickr: kiss-my-kitty | Twitter: @kissmykitty