Last month my mom had surgery on her foot, due to an ongoing diabetic ulcer that had caused an infection that reached the bone. While her foot wasn’t amputated (thank god!), both infected tissue and bone were removed, and there are incisions on both the top and bottom of her foot. She is on at-home IV (PICC line) antibiotics, her foot is tightly wrapped and has a wound vacuum (exactly what it sounds like: an electronic vacuum that provides continuous suction to the wound as it heals; this aids in removing drainage as well as encouraging the wound to close) attached to it. And, to top it all off, she has to wear a special metal brace that immobilizes her foot. Since this is her right foot, she can’t drive.
But cars don’t magically drive themselves, so I’m taking her and my brothers to and from doctor appointments, CVS, the grocery store, etc. Even though I’m using her car (and keeping it here since it makes more sense to drive to and from her house — 25 miles each way — with hers, and because my car needs to be inspected next week and Dan’s car does in fact need a new battery), that’s still a lot of time I’m spending running around. Today, for instance, I left the house at 9:45am, and I didn’t get home until 6:30pm. I was treated to lunch, and she bought me two new bras (black and hot pink – my fav colors) as a belated birthday gift, but ugh… so much driving. So much time spent driving.
Tomorrow I’m taking her to Walmart, and possibly dyeing her hair. Since there won’t be any waiting rooms involved with tomorrow’s errand, I’ll drag one or both sprogs with me. My brothers will appreciate the company, and Dan will appreciate the break.
BE July challenge 2014: 2. 3 Personality Traits You are Proud of
You know, I have spent so much time over the past couple of years obsessing over my bad traits that it’s hard to put a finger on the good ones. But without sounding like a complete narcissistic ass, here are what I think are three positive personality traits I possess:
- I’m persistent (this can be both good and bad).
- Even if I initially flail and flip out over a bad situation, I will put my head done and figure things out.
- I’m patient.
BE July challenge 2014: 1. Goals for this Month
Per my last entry, my goals for July should be fairly obvious:
- Don’t freak out over bad shit
- Get shit done
I started out 2014 with the best of intentions: this year is going to be awesome, I’m going to turn things around, think positive, THINK, ACT, DO. Then shit happened, like it always does. And here we are, with half of the year officially over, and I’m still struggling and flailing to get a grip on things, to get on top of things. But life keeps throwing shit at me: financial worries, migraines, abscessed tooth, increasing struggles with Ryan’s autism (this summer has officially been THE. WORST. ONE. YET. in terms of anxiety and meltdowns over the lack of structure and routine), Alyssa being a flouncy drama queen (puberty? hormones? just her natural self evolving?), my mom’s heath issues and me playing taxi for the next 4+ weeks, etc.
So instead of thinking positively in terms of saying NO MORE SHIT, I’m thinking positively in terms of HANDLE THE SHIT.
So with that said, here’s what’s up with me:
- I turned 30 last month. Ick.
- Today is Puff’s 19th birthday. Jesus, when did he grow up?
- I went off my anti-depressants last fall, and regretted it deeply by early this spring, when I was totally falling the fuck apart. I’ve been back on them since May. While Zoloft isn’t a cure-all, it’s certainly a huge help in mood boost, focus, and overall balance (and when it’s not enough, there’s always Ativan).
- I’m trying not to bottle up my emotions as much as I used to. After getting roaring drunk one night last December and drunkenly sobbing all of my fears and worries to Dan at 3 in the morning (and still not knowing everything I said – just the gist of things from what Dan told me the next day), I’ve finally realized just how unhealthy it is to keep everything inside. I’m still having trouble letting go…but I’m working on it.
- My tooth needs its final cap, but other than that it’s good as gold: no soreness, no pain, no nothing. Whee! Root canals are painful, and even more so when they’re being done on an infected tooth that has spread its infection to surrounding tissue and nerves.
- Early to bed, early to rise: I just can’t do the nightowl routine anymore. You’d think that it wouldn’t matter if I got up at 7am or 9am, so long as I got a decent night’s sleep. Well, it matters. As of today, my weekday alarm clock is 6:30am, and my weekend alarm clock is 8:00am.
- More walks in the sunshine. I don’t care how hot it is. Walks are good – I’ll just bring extra water (and leave Leah at home, since Pugs literally keel over in summer weather).
Speaking of hot…I got burned by a product review. Literally. My underarms are sporting literal chemical burns that, despite being four days old now, are SUPER painful. Until this afternoon I was thinking the burns were not in fact chemical burns but simply an allergic reaction, so I was alternately slathering them with Calamine, Caladryl, and hydro-cortisone cream; I’m now using Ocean Potion Instant Burn Relief (Aloe Vera with Lidocaine!). My armpits are sticky (and stubbly, since shaving is obviously out of the question – deodorant too, YAY A/C!), but at least the worst of the pain is finally gone.
I miss blogging like I used to. It feels good to look back at this screen and see 530+ words of, well, me. But now I need to turn my attention back to writing before I call it a night.
…but first, let me take a selfie.
P.S. Ratchet is the new triflin’, am I right?!
Namecheap offers awesomely-priced reseller (as well as shared) hosting accounts, and right now you can try out Namecheap’s hosting for just $1 for the first month, so why not? This will be the first time since my first domain registration that my host and registrar will be one and the same, but hey – if it works it works!
If you can read this post, congrats – you’re seeing Jenn.nu on the new server.